The Worst & Best Thing | Joe Sugg

Serious Bedtime Talks

i've woken up in a groggy mood and have just been laying still in my bed.

I hear my phone ding twice meaning i have a text so i sit up and reach for my phone which was now under my pillow.

Lucy 🌻:
My mom is doing much better. Just a broken foot from falling down the stairs, miss you and Casp says hello x

I smile at her text.

Me:
i miss you both, text me if anything happens.

I put my phone back under my pillow and curl up in a ball under the blankets. I'm not sure why i feel like this and it's only 8 AM. Last night replays in my mind on a continuous loop that won't stop.

How close our bodies were. How close our lips were. His hand in mine. His arm securing around my waist.

I run my fingers through my hair. I need to stop thinking about him like this but i can't.

I want his lips to explore every inch of my body. I want his hands to roam free all over me. I can't believe how lustful i become around him, it's so unlike me.

I'm broken out of my thoughts when i hear my door open. I grab my blanket and lower it enough where it's just below my eyes and to my surprise i saw Joe. Which doesn't help my thoughts nor my chest. My chest burns with excitement and i don't like that someone can make me feel such a way.

"Sorry, were you sleeping?" he asks in a raspy tone. His hair is a mess and he's only wearing Black joggers that are low enough to where i can the words "Calvin Klein" across the hem of his boxers.

"No, i've been awake." i reply pulling the covers  back over my head.

I hear his footsteps then my blanket is ruffled and i see Joe's body enter my bed and pulls the blankets down so my face isn't hidden.

"Is this alright?" he asks indicating his sudden appearance in my bed. "Why wouldn't it be? We've been in the same bed loads of times." i say still staring at the same spot i've been staring at, which is the wall. But, it probably looks like i'm now staring at Joe's stomach.

He moves so that he's now under the blankets with me and is eye level.

"You know what i mean." he says sighing. "I don't, actually." i lie. He thinks there's something going on between us, clearly. I can't think like that. Even though i was just thinking of all the places Joe could be kissing me.. But, still i shouldn't.

"Come on, stop pretending you don't want it." still unsure of what 'It' is.

At this point it could mean anything. His body, kissing, being together, getting intimate, cuddling, dating. Anything.

"I don't want anything, Joe. Not with you, not with anyone." i say through gritted teeth. "And why not, Emma?" he asks in a tone of sarcasm but as if he knows the answer.

"Because we can't do this. Whatever this is. The flirting, the teasing, kissing.-" I finally look at Joe. "That can't happen." he has a straight face. "I don't know what exactly it is you want from me Joe. And i don't know why i'm constantly thinking about taking all your fucking clothes off but it's wrong. I've known you for so long. I even had a crush on you! But now that we're grown it's different. So much would change if we let our bodies give into each other. And i don't want that." i confessed to him.

"You think about taking my clothes off?" he smirks at me.

I roll my eyes and go back to staring in space. "Of course that's all you heard." His hand falls to my neck and his thumb is placed on my cheek. "I want you so fucking bad. You have no idea how much anger consumes me when i can't get what i want. As selfish as that sounds i don't care if things change. Hell, it might be even better if things changed."

"You could be wrong though. Things could go bad." i say. "But, they could go good." he immediately replies after. I just look at him.

He gives a small sympathetic smile then takes his hand away from my neck and it reaches behind me as i feel his hand being placed on my back i feel him tug me into him, my face now on his bare chest with his chin placed on top of my head.

How could i let this happen?

---------------------------

I guess I dozed off because when i woke up i was on my other side. But, Joe had not left. His arm was resting on my side and his hand was under my stomach, securing me. I could feel him breathing into the back of my neck.

What time was it?