Dear diary,
Today was interesting, my parents treated me nicely. They actually acted as if I existed, but once I got home everything went back to normal. I just realized that we had company over that is why they acted like that. The so called company were my aunt and uncle, they are the only ones that cared about me key word cared. They thought I actually needed help, but I guess my parents told them I just wanted attention.
And this was just half of what happened. At school everyone was being nice to me. I think there is something they are planning that involves either me getting injured or making fun of me. They acted as if something bad happened tome. Honestly I would like if something happened to me than be here with them acting all nice.
To make things even worse Xylene started to talk to me, I mean I like her and stuff, but i believe she hates me like everyone does. She sat with me during lunch and she even walked me to my class. She said that I'm like a fragile glass that needs to be taken care off. I just told her that I don't need any ones pity that I am find without anyone. Yes, I admit it I want someone to help just not because they pity me, but because they actually care about me.
Is it normal to want to die or just disappear form this earth. Because if it is then that explains me everyday. No one seems to notice how I'm completely changing right before their eyes. You may think that I'm doing it to get attention, but that's how I feel all the time. I hate myself so much for being so weak, I can't even defend myself from someone that is even weaker than me. Maybe that's why I'm a disgrace to humanity, therefore I should just leave or maybe pretend that I'm gone. Just to see if anyone would actually care about me. What am I saying no one would care.
Well I have to go before I get caught not doing what I have to. Until next time.
- Zhang Yixing
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Outcast (Zhang Yixing)
FanficHe was known as the weirdo, loser etc. He tried to fit in he thought he was alone. Yixing suffers from depression and anorexia. He thought he had no one until she came along but not everyone gets a happy ending do they? Live the life of Zhang...
