Do I Scare You?- [Zayn Malik AU]

Chapter 54. {I Love You}

A couple days have passed and we still haven't left the den. Zayn seems quite stressed out now, getting worked up over silly little things. He's had small rows with Tom, but I guess that's a normal day; someone always has to have an argument with Tom in a day--it wouldn't be right otherwise.

I have to say though, Tom isn't as horrible and cold to me anymore. He actually stuck to his word and has been given me two self defence classes. He says I have natural talent in using my feet--and that I'm an excellent kick boxer... I just have a feeling Zayn wouldn't approve of all this. He would be worried about my safety, injuries--stupid stuff like that. I think it's great though, learning to defend yourself. At least then if I'm ever alone, which is probably very unlikely now with Zayn in my life, I can defend myself.

"Baby?" I look up from my notebook with was perched on my lap, and into Zayn's hazel eyes. I was currently in the middle of a new poem. Being away from school is tough because I hate the idea of skiving, but I guess it's for our own safety, and the other student's too. I can't imagine how bad it would be if Liam and Louis got involved with Niall. He could blackmail them to form an alliance with him. I wouldn't know where I'd stand then...

"I was wondering... do you wanna go for a walk with me? It's just like around the block and stuff. I just need some air. I don't mind if you don't. I can see your busy and--"

"--no. It's okay. It can wait. I have no inspiration anyway. Maybe some fresh air can help." I smile at him, but he drops eye-contact, nodding his head simply before walking towards the door. I sigh to myself then following him out the house. He is becoming very guarded now, and I don't like it at all. If he could only tell me what's bothering him so much; I would try my hardest to wipe that frown off his handsome face. I'd actually do anything to see his cheeky smirk again.

It was silent as we walked together side by side, his large tanned hands were jammed into the pockets of his leather jacket, while mines were folded with my arms across my chest, as I embraced the cool air. It was an almost tense atmosphere. I don't know why it was like this. Why did he ask me to come if he's not going to talk?

"I'm sorry." soon he speaks out, causing me to frown as confusion hits me.

"Why?"

"Just... for everything. I know you're missing your two wimpy friends, and learning and stuff... If it wasn't for me getting so protective over you, you'd probably have a normal. You would probably have a decent boyfriend too, someone that can treat you far better then I can. He wouldn't bring your whole life down with you past, or make you angry when he swears or says things that he regrets straight after... That guy would've loved you right, the way you need to be loved. He would be approved by your mother, get along with your friends... and have your love, which is the main thing." Zayn's now sat down on a wooden park bench, his head between his hands. I'm stunned for words. Where did this even come from?

"Zayn. Are you okay? You don't need to be sorry. It's not your fault, it's mines. It's me--"

"--bullcrap, Soph. You're lying. You know if I wasn't in your life, you would have a completely normal--"

"--hey. Normal doesn't exist." I reminded him, from those nights ago when we had that full on argument that caused pain and heartbreak. His words stung like knife cuts, and I'll never heal from them. I'll always have the scars in my memory to remember that night. I can't ever forget them.

"I know. I know. The thing is though, I've been thinking and I just--I just don't want to bring you down anymore. You need to be with someone that can make you smile all the time, that beautiful smile of your needs to stay where it belongs forever. I make you cry half the time and I hate that I do that to you. You can deny it all you want, but it's the truth and deep down you know it, Sophia. I'm no good for you."