Back in Blackberry

Chapter ten

Cas lay in his bed awake, not being able to sleep. He was staying. Maybe he shouldn't have... but he'd already said he would, he couldn't do that to Dean. He had been really excited that Cas was staying, Cas could hear it in his voice. His family... his family had made their choice.

***

Cas was distracted most of the next day, thinking. Charlie was ecstatic about Cas' decision to stay.

"We need to go out and celebrate!" She said after she'd calmed down a bit.

"Where would we go?" Dean asked.

"What do you think, Cas? Where do you want to go?" Charlie asked.

"Is there... a park?" Cas asked tentatively.

"Yeah, I think there's a park nearby," Dean said.

"The park it is!" Charlie exclaimed.

***

"I don't think I've ever been to this park," Dean said as he stopped the car.

"Well you aren't exactly a park person," Cas said.

"Fair enough." Dean got out of the car and a second later, Cas' door opened and he felt Dean's hand around his own. He stepped out of the car and took a deep breath in.

"Is it pretty?" He asked quietly.

"Yeah Cas, it is," Dean said. Cas turned towards him.

"Are you okay? You sound weird," Cas said.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Dean said.

"Alright, so what are we thinking? Dinner? A walk?" Charlie asked, apparently walking up from her car.

"We grabbed some burgers on the way," Dean said, and Cas heard the crinkling of the to-go bag as Dean held it up.

"You ordered food for me without asking what I wanted?" Charlie asked.
"You always get exactly the same thing," Dean said. Charlie and Cas laughed.

"I guess you're right. Let's go find a bench," Charlie said. Dean started walking and so did Cas, holding tight to Dean's hand. When they all sat down and all the food was passed out, Cas spoke.

"It's nice to be outside," Cas said.

"Yeah, it is," Charlie replied.

"Is there any particular reason you wanted to come to a park, Cas?" Dean asked.

"I... I never really went to a park before. My family... they were always too scared that I'd get lost," Cas said, taking a sip of his drink.

"Oh," Dean said softly.

"Cas... why don't you talk about your family?" Charlie asked. Cas shifted uncomfortably.

"I... I just don't really want to," he said. There was a second of silence.

"Okay. As we've already seen, I don't talk about my family much," Dean said.

"But you did, eventually," Cas said.

"Barely. And besides, when you're ready, you'll talk. We don't mind, Cas," Dean said.

"Yeah! C'mon, don't let this ruin our park day, alright?" Charlie said. Cas nodded.

Charlie left before Dean and Cas did, leaving them sitting next to each other on a large swing. The park was quiet, and Cas reached out and took Dean's hand.

"Cas?" Dean questioned.

"I just want to know you're here," Cas said. Dean didn't say anything and they sat quietly for a while.

"Dean..." Cas paused, not sure if he wanted to continue.

"Yeah Cas?" Dean asked.

"What happened with your brother?" Cas asked. He felt Dean's hand stiffen slightly.

"I... he hates me because I'm gay," Dean said quietly. "When I came out to him and my dad, things... didn't go well."
(Hold your fire! Hold your fire! Please don't kill me yet!)

"Oh. I'm so sorry, Dean," Cas said.

"Don't be. I'm fine," Dean told him.

"If you were fine you would've used his room for something," Cas said. Dean chuckled.

"I guess you're right," Dean said, running his thumb over the back of Cas' hand.

"How long did you know?" Cas asked.

"That I was gay? Since college. I fell in love there. Not just a crush, I mean love. He was beautiful. But that didn't end well either," Dean said.

"Have you had many boyfriends?" Cas asked.

"Not really. I've never really been in love with anyone like I was with him," Dean said quietly. Cas nodded and went back to thinking about Sam. An idea was starting to form.