Back in Blackberry

Chapter twenty-five

Dean couldn't remember the last time he was this happy. Waking up next to Cas every morning... it was perfect. It'd been two months since they'd gotten together, but not much had changed beyond that. Cas sat at his table in the bakery all day, Charlie would pitch some crazy party idea, and Dean and Cas would either go with her or stay in and read. Cas still had nightmares and panic attacks sometimes, which Dean hated, but... he helped Cas as much as he could.

"Dean, describe color to me," Cas said out of the blue one day as they sat together on the couch.

"That's really hard to do, Cas. I'm sorry, but..." Dean trailed off at the disappointed look on Cas' face. "I'll try, I guess."

"How about this: I name a color and you name the first thing that comes to mind when you hear it," Cas suggested.

"I could do that," Dean said. Cas smiled.

"Red."

"Blood."

"Black."

"Baby."

"Orange."

"Oranges."

"Green."

"Grass."

"Blue." Dean paused. "First thing," Cas reminded him.

"You. Your eyes," Dean said. Cas smiled shyly.

"Really?" He asked.

"Yeah. Your eyes are the most beautiful blue I've ever seen. They're just another reason why you are the most beautiful person I've ever seen," Dean said.

"You said you'd stop saying stuff like that. You keep showing me up," Cas said with a smile.

"I can't help it. You bring out the stupid romantic idiot in me, Cas," Dean said.

"That's my goal. I'm going to get some water, do you want anything?" Cas asked, standing up.

"I'm good. Do you need help?" Dean asked.

"I can manage on my own," Cas said.

"Alright Mr. Independent, but if you break anything it isn't my fault," Dean said.

"Noted," Cas said before making his way to the kitchen. Someone knocked on the door just then and Dean answered to see Charlie, her face pale, the look in her eyes one of dread and sadness.

"Charlie? What's wrong?" Dean asked as Charlie walked in and he closed the door behind her.

"Where's Cas?" She asked.

"I'm here," Cas said, walking in holding a water glass and smiling.

"Cas, it... it's about Hannah," Charlie said. The smile slid from Cas' face.

"Hannah?" He echoed. Dean looked from Charlie to Cas, confused.

"Who's Hannah?" He asked.

"Cas, she..." Charlie's voice was wavering, she seemed on the verge of tears. "She killed herself."

Crash!

The glass slipped from Cas' fingers and shattered on the floor.

"No. No, no, no! She- she wouldn't-" Cas dissolved into tears and Dean rushed forward, hugging Cas. He still didn't quite understand, but he didn't need to. All he needed to know right now was that Cas was hurting.

After Cas had calmed enough to talk, he told Dean everything. How he was actually Jimmy Novak and his family was famous. How he'd run away when he couldn't stand it anymore. Dean was stunned, but he put aside his concerns when Cas broke down again after Charlie told them everything she had heard.

"I... I have to go back," Cas said when he calmed down again.

"Go back?" Dean asked, a sense of dread filling him.

"They need me. I have to go back. Dean, I... I have to leave. I'm sorry," Cas said.

"But... you don't mean forever... right?" Dean asked.

"Dean this changes everything. I just don't know," Cas said. Dean's arms slid from around Cas.

"Cas..."

"I'll come back if I can," Cas said.

"Don't leave me," Dean whispered. Cas didn't answer. Dean stood up suddenly and barged out the door. He couldn't think, this couldn't be happening. Cas couldn't leave.

***

It was only two days later that Dean was standing on the sidewalk outside the bakery with Cas as Charlie waited in her bug.

"Cas, please. Promise you'll come back," Dean said.

"I can't do that," Cas said sadly. Dean looked down at the ground. Cas hugged Dean tightly. "I love you. You were the best thing that ever happened to me, remember that."

"I love you too, Cas," Dean said, his voice breaking. Cas let Dean go and climbed into the passenger seat of Charlie's bug.

"Goodbye, Dean," Cas said.

"Goodbye, Cas," Dean replied, tears rolling down his face, as Charlie pulled away from the sidewalk, taking Cas far, far away. Dean watched them until they disappeared, then turned and headed back inside the bakery. Cas was gone.