Far Away From Here

Hyper-Focused

I woke up the next morning with dry tears caking my face. I wiggled my nose trying to release some of the tightness that was spreading across the exterior of my face. If there was one positive to crying yourself to sleep, is the bomb sleep you get. Rolling over, I poked my home button on my phone to see it was 10:37. Knowing I had to be at work in less than an hour, I gruntingly pick my body off the bed, letting my body sit upright, my feet swinging in the gap between the floor and where my legs ended.

I don't remember getting ready or grabbing a cup of coffee. I was too hyper-focused on evacuating the premise as fast as possible, not having the strength to run into Jonas.When I arrived at work, at 11:29, Bush was standing at the door, blocking the entrance with his large body. Realizing he was unlocking the door, I took a step back giving him space. I felt Louis' presence behind me instantly. Without turning around a small smile formed on my face without my permission.

"Good morning love."

"Good morning Louis." Will this man ever make me not act as a nervous toddler. I bet Marcus could never make me feel like this. As Bush opened the door, we all walked in single-file. I stopped at my front station and so did Louis. I made eye contact with him for the first time that morning. He was dressed in his usual all-black attire but with black skinnies, black cable knit sweater and a black leather jacket. Which reminded me I still had his jacket a few weeks ago. Alright, I did know I had it but if he asked I would pull a performance that would be Oscar-worthy and tell him "Oh my god, I forgot!" Acting as if it was sitting on my dresser, and sometimes I smelled it like a sociopath. I couldn't help it, it smelled list smoke and his musky cologne. When I met his eyes, his upper face was itched in concern.

"What's wrong?" he wized out, he wasn't mad at me I knew that but it seemed like his concern was overshadowing his range of control on his voice. Realizing my eyes were probably still pretty puffy, I thought quick on my feet.

"Oh, nothing is wrong. I had a minor reaction to something yesterday. I think it was the new detergent I tried."

"Love, I have sisters remember? I know when someone is crying."

 Sighing in defeat, I contemplated how truthful I should be with my answer."It's nothing. Jonas' and I got into a bit of a spat last night and I got pretty emotional."

"Do you want to talk about it?" I would rather shit nails Louis, but thank you for asking.

"No, no thank you though." I picked up the phone clicking the option to hear the voicemails. Hopefully indicating that I wanted this conversation to be over. I felt him stand there for several more seconds before walking to his station.

It was half-past nine and the afternoon/evening rush had died, and I was sitting at my desk preparing for the night crawlers; drunk and eager to tattoo their girlfriend's name on their chest. I was spinning myself in my chair, letting my surroundings blur and become one. "You in for a walk love?" I halt my actions with a stomp to the ground. My eyes taking a few moments to compose themselves.

"Me?" I questioned as I watched the humour in Louis' eyes grow, probably wondering how childish his receptionist was.

"Yes, you. I need a smoke break and it looks like you need to get rid of some of this energy." I blushed but nodded my head. We walked down a few streets in silence before he spoke."So you gonna tell me about this fight?"

"You honestly wouldn't care Louis. It was just a dumb fight." It wasn't the fight previously had consumed my every thought during the day. Jonas and I had fought before but it usually ended in two minutes and we just kind of ignored what happened, going on acting as nothing happened. Jonas hadn't even called or text me today, I wasn't looking for an apology; okay maybe I was but I was looking for at least some type of communication.

"You don't know what I care about," Louis said breaking my thought bubble. I studied his side profile as we walked, his jaw tight and eyes relaxed I could tell he was ready to listen- to whatever I would give him.

"Um-, okay basically Jonas had the dumb idea to set me up on this blind date and-"

"You went on a date?" Louis interrupted me, halting his feet from walking. I stopped abruptly too, two steps in front of him. "You went on a date with someone?" He asked again when he didn't gain a response the first time.

"Yes, well sort of? No, actually no I did not go on a date. That's sort of where our fight came from."

"What do you mean yes, sort of, no?"

"Well, we were supposed to go on a date but the guy never showed up and I sort of took my humiliation out on Jonas and he said something kind of mean to me, but it wasn't his fault I guess because I sort of made him say it?" I trailed off knowing I wasn't making any sense.

"Some motherfucker stood you up?" His usual calm composer dripped away, letting anger trace through his exterior features. "Who the fuck is he?"

"Marcus from IT?" I shrugged, giving him pretty much all the information I knew about him. "He didn't show up because- you know it doesn't matter. That was what the fight was about so yeah, it was pretty stupid." I began to continue walking but he grabbed onto my elbow pulling me back to him.

"Hold up, I'm sorry, sweetheart but you're telling me you went out with another guy? And this cunt didn't show up?" His hand grasps my chin bringing my face to look at him, his eyes search mine and he looks confused by his sudden anger. 

If I ever needed any reassurance on the feelings I felt towards Louis, I could just replay this moment. He looked unbelievably sexy when he was angry. He had me wrapped around his finger and he had no idea."Yes; I mean I did not go out with him but I planned on it."

"So you're dating people?" I shot my eyebrows in bewilderment.

"What- no? I mean I was going to go on a date with this person but I'm not dating." I decided to keep my pathetic dating life to myself. Hoping he couldn't read through the lines.

"Good." Before I could process what was fully happening he was in my space, similar to our position several Fridays ago, I was pressed against a wall that belonged to a laundromat. 

"Can I kiss you?" The husk in his voice made my knees almost collapse underneath me. I grabbed onto his elbow for support just in case. I nodded meekly, looking up at him with wide eyes."Yes or no baby, I need you to say it."

"Yes, please." I breathed out. He momentarily hovered his lips over mine, sharing my breath. Then his lips were on mine. I awkwardly tried to mimic his movements, hoping he would not catch on to my inexperience. Liquid heat dripped through my body like hot lava. I don't know what I imagine kissing to be like. I had practiced on my hand and even the shower wall, imagining being kissed by a man like Louis but those were fantasies, this for some odd reason was the reality. His hands trailed down my neck to my arms then to my waist. It felt as if he was trying to memorize every part of my body. 

My ecstasy was shattered when he grabbed onto my side which was home to a love handle. I jerked away slightly causing me to bump my head against the wall. His face formed into a shock and mine with uncomfortableness. I started to giggle slightly at the sudden impact I had just caused the back of my head. He replied with a chuckle, bringing his hand to rub the base of my head softly.

"Let's get back." He whispered, pecking my lips once more. I walked beside him dazed and breathing still uneven.