Please Smile (EXO Fan Fiction)

Chapter Twenty Three.

Yixing POV

                For the past few months, it feels as if my world is slowly starting to crack and break.  When I say my world, I mean my heart.  It hurts, but I often question why it hurts.  This I’ll never understand.

                That day in the airport, I didn’t have the courage to say goodbye.  When I looked back, her eyes were watery with tears and it took every ounce of strength to not run back and comfort her like I always would.  I haven’t seen her infelicity in years, and that day it was quite apparent that it even hurt me.

                It even hurt to turn away and continue on walking.

                I never imagined leaving would be this painful.  Every moment I’m on stage alongside my members, Hyomin pops into my head.  Her overwhelming stage presence would drown my thoughts and for a split second, I would forget what I’m doing and where I am, but then I would snap back into action.  When we do radio shows, it really hurts talking about our first love, because I’ll almost say Hyori, her stage name, but I refrain myself from doing so.

                However, all these consequences I feel are worth it.  I’ll endure the pain, the heartbreak, just to fulfill my dream alongside my best friends.  Hyomin once mentioned the consequences about being an idol, and if we’re willing to give up our life just to entertain the media and audience and even though I get to see my family every once in awhile here, my heart will always belong to South Korea, to Hyomin.

                “Yixing, are you alright?”

                I jolted in shock, and turned to see a concerned Jongdae standing there in sweats with slightly wet hair.  I took a deep breath and nodded, relaxing back into my old position, “I’m fine, why do you ask?”

                “You look ugly.”

                A smile crept onto my face, “I just want to return to Korea.”

                “But don’t you like being back home?”

                “I do enjoy it, but…”

                “But?” Jongdae inquired.

                Home is where she is, and she isn’t here.

 

                “This isn’t my style.”

                “Galaxy, stop being picky and just eat the damn thing.”

                Yi Fan grumbled underneath his breath and brought the food to his lips, eating it pitifully which soon became diligently.  I sighed, wondering how this boy’s mother survived raising him.  Quietly, I ate the dinner we ordered awhile ago and now it’s being served right before us.  Exhaustion seeped into my mental state and I started drifting off to sleep as I slurped the delicious noodles.   Unlike usual, our dinner sessions are rather quiet because Baekhyun and Chanyeol aren’t here, but sometimes Zitao and Yi Fan would cause a commotion, and soon Jongdae would join.  Minseok hyung and I are usually the quiet ones, and I’m proud being one of them.

                “Yo, Yixing.”

                I turned my head, peering through my half-lidded eyes to the soft voice who called my name and to my surprise it was Luhan.  Usually he likes staying quiet as he eats, but his full attention was on me.  I finished swallowing my soup and placed the bowl along with my chopsticks down.