Fierce

Chapter 39

Chapter 39
Meet

"Mom and Dad asked you to leave Kuya Gael..."

Halos mapatalon ako nang bigla kong narinig ang boses ni Ida.

Tumalikod ako at nakita ko siyang may nakasabit na towel sa kaniyang balikat. She's not yet showering. She must've heard what Gael and I talked about earlier.

What a troublemaker, Blair!

"Ida, I will explain—"

"No, Blair!" halos pasigaw niyang sabi. "What you've said is already clear to me. It's very clear. There's no need to explain anything and you don't have to cover them up."

"Ginawa lang naman nila yun para sa'yo rin ni Gael." I reasoned out. "I'm sure that they're just thinking of you—"

"Iyon na nga eh, Blair!"

Napaawang nalang ang aking bibig sa sobrang galit na nakikita at nararamdaman ko galing kay Ida. She already turned red. She's about to burst out.

I don't want to argue with her anymore. Alam kong mas magagalit lang siya kapag pinagtanggol ko ang mga magulang niya.

"They're just thinking about me and not about Kuya Gael!" she tried to point out. "I'm not that dumb, Blair. Alam kong hindi madali sa kanila at lalo na kay Mommy ang pagtanggap kay Gael sa pamilya. I know that they're just doing this for me. At pagkatapos kapag bumalik ako sa kanila, anong mangyayari? They're just going to push Kuya Gael away again."

Nagsimula nang kumislap ang mga mata ni Ida dahil sa namumuo at nagbabadyang tumulo na luha sa kaniyang mga mata.

"I want them to accept Kuya Gael because they are willing and they really want him to be a part of our family. Hindi dahil lang sakin. Anong mararamdaman ni Kuya Gael kapag ganon? I'm sure he's not stupid and numb para hindi maramdaman at maging aware sa mga mangyayari at nangyayari." she said.

Ida's right. Gael is very aware of everything. Mabilis din siyang makaramdam kaya agad niyang nakuha ang totoong dahilan kung bakit ko gustong ituloy ang pag-aaral sa ibang bansa.

"I don't want him to feel being left out. Gusto ko mararamdaman niyang talagang parte siya ng pamilya namin dahil Mallari siya, hindi dahil sa kilala lang niya si Kuya Gael bilang kapatid ko ngunit hindi kinikilalang anak ng ama niya." sabi niya. "Ayoko non, Blair. And I'm pretty sure that you also don't want Kuya Gael to feel that way, right?"

Kinagat ko naman ang aking pang-ibabang labi at saka tumango-tango.

If I could give the lapses in love that his real father couldn't give him them I will. Pero alam kong kahit ibigay ko ang pagmamahal na kaya kong ibigay ay hindi pa rin magiging sapat dahil hindi naman ako ang tatay niya.

I can be an artificial piece to complete and make his heart whole, but I will never be the real piece to make him genuinely feel loved and happy. Only his real father could give it to him.

"Kung mayroon mang kailangang gumawa ng paraan ay ako 'yon..." she suddenly said. "I know and understand both sides. I'm their family kaya nararapat lang na ako ang umayos ng gulo ng pamilya namin. I'm just waiting for the right time. At ngayong nangyari 'to, they're just making everything worse. Baka mas lalo lang lumayo si Kuya Gael sa kanila dahil sa ginawa nila. It will be harder for me to reach out both sides to reconcile if that will be the case. Kaya please lang, Blair. If there's anything you can do for Kuya Gael, that is to stay by his side while he goes through this problem. Huwag mo naman siyang iwanan lalo na kung ikaw ang kailangan niya ngayon."

"I'm sorry..." iyon na lamang ang mga salitang lumabas sa aking labi.

Masiyado akong nagfocus sa brighter side ng sacrifices na gagawin kaysa sa mga maaaring maging masamang epekto nito. Gustong-gusto kong makatulong pero hindi ko man lang naisip na baka mas lalong lumala ang problema dahil sa gagawin kong pagtulong.