What happened?

Beautiful lights light up the sea

Dani

So, my anxiety attacks stopped meanwhile. I walked through the streets like a normal girl. I went shopping with my friends, did extracurricular activities at school, fell in love with boys ((obviously)), had sleepovers and stuff like that. No fear of being alone after school. I lived the normal teeny girl life. And I liked it.

One Day, the Water lantern festival was up. We all made flower shaped lanterns at school. It should carry our biggest wishes and messages to our loved ones that maybe already passed away (They believed that the spirits of those people would come back to earth during that night). We were about to set them in Ziyuan County. It was my first Water Lantern Festival.

I dedicated my message/wish to my family.

"Dear Christina, Katherine, Lisa, Amy & Lauren, if you are up there, please don't forget me. I'm alive. I'm save. You're always in my heart."

"Dear Mommy and Daddy, please stay by my side. I saw your death and I want to let you know that I am save and healthy. I'll never forget you. Every tear I cry is for you"

On the front, I wrote a quote.

"If my tears could built a stairway, and my memories a lane, I would walk right up to Heaven and bring you home again."

I cried in class during making my lantern. My teacher walked up to me and brought me outside. We sat on a bench and she talked to me.

"Dani, you wrote about your family, didn't you?" she asked. I nodded and looked down to my feet.

"Listen, if they're up there, they will be with you tonight. They will receive your message." she said and put her arm around my body. I took a deep breath and then we went back in. Nobody asked or laughed or something. They were used to it and accepted it.

The rest of the lesson went pretty fast. The teacher just kept walking around complimenting all the beautiful flowers. I went home after it ended and went back to school around 5pm.

We got there by bus. I've never been in Ziyuan County. It was a huge city and many people rushed around already. I saw kids and older people holding their flowers. It was so beautiful. We wore a traditional Chinese outfit. I was not really used to it and not really a fan of these, but it's a thing in China. And I was part of it.

The first hour or something, we just walked around with our flower lanterns. Also kind of a part of that tradition. For me, it was SO new. Within that hour, it got dark and out of nowhere, all the city lanterns and lights lit up the streets and everything. It looked so beautiful! The official setting was at 9pm, so we watched dragon dances and light shows and other Chinese traditions the time before. A funny thing that happened was that the huge traditional Dragon came up to me and "blessed" me. It was really funny but amazing too. I could feel the Chinese spirit.

Then, it was finally time for the flowers to set on the water. I saw people with lightened flowers and normal lanterns walking up ALL AROUND the huge sea around 9. You could literally see all the single lights in the dark. Point 9, people started to set their lanterns free after kind of a cheer.

When I put in mine, I said a prayer and looked around. The sea was lighten up by all the flower lanterns. Soon, the lanterns met in the middle and all the people kept standing around. After and after, other people send in their lanterns. I sat down on the water and kept looking at the lights. It was so magical. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I felt like my family was around. I felt that warmth around my heart.

My teacher sat down next to me.

"Dani?.... Dani?... Dani??" she kept saying. I was so into my thoughts that I didn't notice her. But then I turned around to her.

"And? Are they here?" she asked. I closed my eyes once again and took a deep breath.

"Yes." I said and nodded.