What happened?

Part 10: Money, faith and therapy

Lisa:

Meanwhile in the US, we didn't know anything about the fundraising project, because of our little contact to the internet and technology. We made money and waited for a response from Amy, because we still didn't know if the letter even reached her. Apparently, the address was washed away by the dirt and the snow, as Amy told us now.

So, we all had contact to our second lives around the world, just Katherine couldn't keep in touch with them. She was a littler sadder every time any of us would call or skype our family members and friends. I felt bad for her. I heard her crying and praying every single night. She told me that she worried something happened. Understandable, because in such a poor district, everything could happen all the time. One day, I talked to Dani and Lauren about it. They noticed Katherine's mood swings too. We all were worried, because we thought we all were over those sad times of the unknown. Of course, we all cried sometimes because of the memories that were still flashing in our heads and because of the fact we couldn't find Christina or Amy yet, but we all shouldn't be sad like all the time crying that much. We were glad to be back together and have something to hold on. We thought about any way we could get them, Kath and her family, back together, but everthing was way too expensive. Since Dani lost her job due to new depression attacks/panic attacks and Haku had to leave the country due to family loss over there in Japan, we could barely pay our Apartment. Our car broke and we were back being stuck in money problems. Even though I went to college at age 14, I still didn't have any apprenticeship, so I couldn't get any better paid jobs. Same for my sisters Dani and Lauren, because they were younger. I wanted to go to nightschool, but I needed the money from babysitting. I decided to do distance learning inbetween my two jobs. Katherine still worked in that bookstore, but Lauren wanted to do something else than just helping at the orphanage. Understandable, she barely got any money and she actually just did it for her health since she needed to accustom to that old life again. We weren't mad. Health comes before anything else.

Now you might wonder what happened to Dani. She was happy, she managed her job perfectly and her depression was gone for a long time. It all happened because Hoa had a car accident and is now in a wheelchair. Remember when Dani talked about that phone call she had with Hoa and then the connection broke? That was the day Hoa got to know her Mom died and she was on her way to her Mom's house. Also the day she had the car accident. When Dani got to know this, she gave herself the fault for making it all worse than it already was for Hoa that lead to her accident. It wasn't easy for Dani at all, that's why it all came back over her. Since that point, she lost her job and we had to pay for therapy sessions too.

Soon, I had health problems too. I experienced a burnout. I was the one who was emotionally and physically stable for a long time. I took care of my sisters and I didn't even care. That's what lead me to this disaster. I overworked myself. Working from 8am to 2pm and then again from 5pm to 8pm every day. Inbetween those 3 hours I studied for distance learning and after I finsihed my shift at 8pm, I went babysitting from 8:30pm to 10pm four times a week. The other times, I studied or picked up my sisters or drove them anywhere. I didn't go to bed until 1pm, because I did the household at this time. Well, we all did that, but like I said, I helped my sisters most of the time too. Mainly Dani, because she had therapy sessions over the day every second day in the first weeks and couldn't manage all of her stuff at once. Sounds harsh, but she literally had those panic attacks coming and going multiple times throughout the day. She was diagnosed with a postraumatic stress disorder aka bomb shell disease. Everyone helped her throughout the day, but Katherine was working as well and when Lauren was at home, she brought Dani to therapy and spent time with her. But soon, Lauren was home less.

Well, back to me right now. It all started with having bad sleeping issues. I woke up several times and stayed awake for hours. In the end there were multiple days with sleeping 1 up to 2 hours only. Definitely not enough. When I fainted at work one day, I was sent home, what was completely out of my mind. I had thoughts like "I can't miss this day, I need the money". But when I had several emotional break downs in a week, I decided to go to a doctor. That's when I was diagnosed with burnout-syndrom. I wasn't allowed to work and had to take medicaments. One more person without money. Now it was only Katherine making full-time money. Lauren had little money from that orphanage job and she tried everything to make more and better jobs. We got repeated reminders for not paying the apartment costs in time. We needed money really badly, but Dani and I were out of the group. We needed a miracle to happen really soon, or we'd have to leave the apartment and live in the streets. This would've destroyed Dani completely. Leaving her trusted safe zone. We already had to shut down her therapy sessions to twice a week which didn't make it much easier. If we only found Amy and Christina... this would probably give Dani a new perspective and us a little more hope in these dark times. A miracle... please!