Way Wedding

A List of Life Altering Questions.

A week had passed since Gerard and I had gotten engaged, and come public about everything. It had been a whirlwind of responses that had taken us by wonderful surprise. Fan's had congratulated us, and the frerard tag had literally blown up despite Gerard's increasing discomfort with it. At this point I chose to look at it differently, I had just gotten used to it. I'd admit that it was weird to think my intimate relationship was some kind of kink to another person however some people on tumblr just didnt know what an actual human being was. After this many years I had resulted myself to the fact that the defintion of human being was something that was greatly glossed over the minute you got a record deal. Lindsay had called ranting and raving her voice a mixture of disgust and pain that I wasn't all that sorry about. The only thing that she had ever done for Gerard was give him Bandit, and that little girl was now going to be a pawn in her game which made my stomach knot almost instantly. On the other hand Jamia had sent congratulations paired with a confirmation of my visit home that was ticking closer show by show. In less than 6 hours, and a flight later is be able   to hold my kids in my arms, and then have to explain to my parents everything that was happening. A part of me wished I still had my nonno as a rebuttal between my father and me, but continued to remind myself that I was an adult and I needed to just buck up. The hardest thing aside from our personal life difficulties was the rise of MCR reunion speculation. Both Gerard and I's record companies had been in a panic the morning after when all of the videos had been posted, and Ray and Mikey's congratulatory posts had surfaced. Both of us just responded with a blanket "Thank you, and don't worry we are happy solo."

I continued to separate our clothes into duffel bags, and craned my ear to attempt to listen in on whatever conversation he was having in the front of the bus. Gerard's ear was full of what I could only tell as Mikey's voice laced in wedded bliss and excitement; my hands brimming in a mixture of Gee's interesting wardrobe stifling chuckles regarding his socks. Once upon a time he had been a jacket whore, but now this man was a sock whore that I swore had brought at least 20 pairs while you were lucky if I even remembered them. Tossing a handful of them into the top of my bag I attempted to shove a sketchbook into his already brimming backpack, along with his green pencil case that I swore had followed him from his short time at Cartoon Network.

"Oh my god Mikes he loves it. You have no idea, I swear he loves his ring more than Kristen. You should have seen his face when I told him that the silver was from grandma's ring." he gushed a  small laugh escaping his lips before an annoyed gasp followed it causing a chill to fall down my spine. "No I haven't." he paused no doubt running his hands through his hair that was nearing a state of constant greasiness. "She won't even let me talk to her, I get I hurt her; but she won't even let me read my goddamn daughter a bedtime story over fucking facetime." he half growled following his anger with a note of sentiment. "I'm glad she's letting  you see her though, take Kristen it'll make Lindsay happy. I think she assumes that she can bond over the fact that she is now a Way wife." he scoffed "Not to mention Bandit loves that girl, she will make an amazing mother someday, and having you around always helps." Lowering myself onto the bed I made myself ignore the packing that needed to be done, and pulled my hood over my head and took in a deep breath trying to calm the fizzing combination of anger and worry that was rising inside of me. Clasping my hands together I rested my engagement ring against my nose reminding myself that I was his forever, and tried to quiet the insecurities that were always going to be a small remnant in the back of my brain. No matter how old I got I was still going to be the same insecure child in his early 20's that just wanted so much to be loved and lost the self worth to know that Gerard was the textbook definition of forever.

"Done packing, sugar?" Gerard asked pulling me out of my haze that made me realize I had completely zoned out with my face full of my fingers, and my nose crowded by my ring. His hand laid on my shoulder rubbing it as though I had one of my frequent headaches raging through my brain at the thought of having to fly. For as long as I could remember I hated to fly, the uncertainty of it was just too much for me to handle. Gerard had always had to hold my hand or sing softly in my ear when we took off after he had discovered my habit of taking a few too many Percocet to knock myself out on our tour flights.

"Not quite." I smiled with a small sniff that had formed in my nose as I attempted to not cry. Instantly his little smile faded as he leaned down beside me on one knee which triggered the sentimental memory of him down on the same knee not even two weeks ago which created a downfall of guilt that made me feel as though I was the reason he wasn't getting to talk to or see Bandit. My brain being what it is topped the whole attack off with the question of whether or not he'd be better off without me which posed it's self right at the top of my list of life altering questions closely followed by and not limited to whether or not I was even meant to be alive, and if my music even meant a goddamn thing to anyone besides the fans that had blindly followed me from MCR.  Taking a daring breath that could have easily created a broken dam of sobbing "Kiss me." I whispered testing the water and waiting for hesitant lips. Instead he leaned up on his heels and laid his hands on either side of my face, his face throwing itself against mine our kiss a sloppy declaration of not only the intimate but emotional need that we had for one another.

"Please tell me you're not thinking about leaving me." he whispered as his reddened lips left mine, and his forehead rested against mine. Pulling his face back to mine with less shaky hands I let my lips do the talking as my arm pushed the bags I had just packed to the floor and pulled him onto the bed. "Frank." he murmured trying to get me to talk through whatever was going through my mind instead of using my body. A feat that was greatly unsuccessful as I flipped his body underneath mine grinding my hips against his.

"Oh baby." I hummed as I danced my lips along his neck and jawline leaving little marks on his almost too pale skin. "I've been wanting to leave these all over you for months." I smirked letting a rage of dominance take control of my body like fire. Pulling my hands down his chest more like claws letting my nails leave marks I stared down at his masterpiece of a body drinking it in like the water I was supposed to be drinking. Suddenly his phone rang pulling both of us out of our lusty daze.

"Uhhm.. hi." Gerard choked out laying his hand on my thigh queing me to either tone it down or push him to a point that I would end up with my hands tied above my head. "Shit, fuck yeah sorry." he cursed pushing my body off of his, rising to his feet, and shoving the wayward articles of clothing back in their bags. Hanging up and pulling his shirt back into it's rightful place he turned to me with a smile. "Our car to the airport is here."  Leaving me with a expression of annoyance, and an idea brewing in my brain.