Way Wedding

Casualties of Falling.

"Um...uh." I stuttered and stammered over my words. Wanting so badly to reach for Gee as my sense of comfort. 

"So are you guys like . . . a thing?" her high pitched voice clocked with heavy emphasis on like  "Ohh mah gawd." she exclaimed valley girl style, taking a healthy step back, with her hands raised like a black woman in church praising Jesus. "Wait so like is Frerard a thing , because like, my friend Al says it is, but I didn't know if I should believe her." her voice finally quieted to a respectable volume and arguably a whisper. 

Both Gerard and I's jaws tensed up at the mention of the ship name our glorious fan's had dubbed us with. It had always made us cringe. The fact that they didn't recognize that we were human beings with feelings. Nor the fact that this sudden homosexuality that had hit us between each other took us enough by surprise, we didn't need some deformed mashup of our names to explain our attraction and now love.  Peering through my curtain of hair and around my hood I saw Gerard's jaw start to loosen, but his expression growing more enraged.

"What is wrong with you, can't two friends visit with one another without everyone wanting them to be ass fucking. Seriously I don't assume every group of teenage girls in the mall hugging on one another are automatically having pillow fights paired with carpet munching that evening. Gerard snapped moderately bruising my ego and making the young girl take another step back her eyes widened but still intrigued.

Raising my hand to quiet Gerard, I shakily let a smile spread over my face in an effort to break the tension now radiating in the already warm weather. Clapping my hands together like some half assed enthusiastic camp counselor, "How about we get you some merch, autographs, and how does a tour of the bus sound?" I paused weighing my next words before I spoke them as her face lit up as if I had given her a meal on her deathbed. "But, you have to promise me something." I pleaded with the same voice I used toward my kid's when i was bribing them not to tell mommy something. Her nod signaling my continuance, "This entire encounter stays between us." I was now to a tone of begging as I looked at her my hazel eyes shimmering in need. As we took off her mouth opened blabbing the a storm only compared to Katrina. 

"So, when does like your new album come out Frank. I didn't even know you were writing."

"Gerard, are you writing new music as well? Because like Hesitant Alien is amazingggg."

She continued chattering as I looked over at my boyfriend his fists tangled together. His temper was building and there was a point where even I couldn't control it. I just hoped we got to the tour bus before that moment. Silently I pleaded for her to just shut up, for all of our benefit. 

"Oh my god, Frank do you have any clear recent pictures of the kids, you never show us what they look like."

"Oh hey, Gerard, question like do you have any pictures of Lindsay."

"Frankie, wait may I call you that? I don't know of that's rude I know it's something a lot of people use in fan fiction. A lot of people call you Gee, Gerard they also say you're gender.." she trailed off as Gerard stopped abruptly began to turn toward her. Before I could even take a breath in to try and stop him his entire body was turned making the short haired pixie girl stop in her tracks. Her green eyes widened finally recognizing that she had taken him too far. His eyes ablaze in rage and his fists still clenched; he was even scaring me. 

"First of fucking all, no you cannot call him Frankie, and you may not call me Gee. Do you have an ounce of common sense in your body? I watched as he sucked in a quick breath "It will be out when it comes out, I am not writing music because like i've posted several times I am working solely on comic books. Why the hell would he show a stranger pictures of his children. We are human beings you know. Privacy is a thing, would you like someone all up in yours. I do not have a "picture" one of her and truthfully I couldn't tell you the last time I saw the cunt naked. he dropped his air quotes and shut his eyes letting the anger simmer out with both his hands in his hair. He hated when he got this mad. It always made him feel like shit afterwards. I watched as the young girl's eyes welled with tears.

Kneeling down on one knee in front of her I took her hands in mine. "No, no please don't cry. Gerard's just testy he just got off of a long flight. He didn't mean it, you can call me Frankie actually a lot of my friends call me that." I pleaded talking it what seemed like circles just trying to calm her down. I didn't want to be that band member. I also didn't want Gerard to earn the same reputation because in his bouts of temper he had always from the time I met him said things he didn't mean and always felt like shit for days after. Pulling one of her hands out of mine she used the edge of her sleeve to wipe a tear away. Peering over at Gerard his hands dropping from his hair he looked at me and then her.

"I am so sorry, i'm just in a really bad mood kiddo. C'mon lets get you that tour and stuff." he tried to say positively. 

"Actually, i'd rather fucking not, thanks. Just go fuck each other in the ass or something. I can't believe I ever looked at you as a role model Gerard Way." she hissed flipping him off before turning to walk away. Making both Gerard and I suck in a harsh breath. What did this mean? What was next? Fighting the urge to run after her I turned grabbing his hand and pulled him to the bus. 

______________________________

I woke to a small crash causing me to jump and reach for Gee's body. Met with empty bed I threw myself up searching for his body. He hadn't ever been one to sleep through the night but I worried considering the fact we had fallen asleep to his soft sobs. He hated the fact that he had hurt her feelings, the fact he had let his temper get the best of him, and most of all made her hate him. As I pulled on a pair of sweats I recalled the sounds of his broken voice. The thought alone made my skin shiver, and hope he wasn't being reckless. 

"Gee." I whispered into the darkness walking down the row of empty bunks. All of the bandmates had elected to spend the night in a hotel. Claiming the mattresses weren't good enough for their backs. Hearing a rustle in the front of the bus my voice got stronger as I called his names again only to be met with one of giggles. 

"Oh Frankieeeee, you are awoken, hi!" he said drunkly making an entirely new set of worries thoughts jump into my brain. Reaching for the light switch I was met with the sight of the man I love encircled by a few beer bottles, a bottle of Jack Daniels, and a bottle of Advil still encased in it's plastic, as if he had drank before bothering to open it and now had no capacity to do so. That fact made a silent thank you scream in my mind as I took a step closer being hit by the stench of liquor that was radiating off his body.

"Gee, baby. You drunk, you haven't drank in 8 years easily." I said sympathetically sitting on the edge of the couch and reaching for his hand. His deep laughter erupted out of his throat catching me a little by surprise. 

"No no no no, sugar I drank myself almost to death when you left me last time. They only thing that got me on track was Lindsay's threat to take my little girl away." he said sadly grabbing onto my hand and reaching for the fireball with his other. Slapping it out of his hand I allowed his words to settle into my brain. I left him? I had never heard something more ridiculous. He ended the band on account of him and his brother's mental health. If anyone had left anyone it was the other way around. Repressing my bubbling anger knowing it was pointless to fight with a drunk man I instead pulled his body up and guided him to our bed. His heavy eyes closed as he still tried to talk to me in incomplete sentences that made no sense but were things he must have thought needed saying. Because no matter how many times i'd tell him to just sleep he would murmur his intangible words. 

" I love you." I whispered weighing the not only heavy but dangerous implications all of this could bring and still dwelling on his comment.