Almost Happy (boyxboy)

Chapter Sixteen: Saying Yes Isn't Easy

Chapter Sixteen: Saying Yes Isn't Easy

[Isaac Colten Sutts]

Love is sweet, like cake. It's a feeling of content. Love is the light that keeps you alive. Love is this beautiful flower that blooms when you meet the right person. But love hurts. Love is painful, like a gun wound to the stomach. It's a hurricane that whisks you around and drowns you in your own life force. Love is that aching feeling in your head when you find out. Love is the heartache you have after you tell them goodbye.

So who is willing to give love a shot? Why do we make such a big deal out of it? What's the point of falling in love if you're only going to hurt in the end? It's because we need it. We need to be loved and then thrown away so we can grow. If we don't grow we wither away to nothing. We feel nothing, see nothing. Our passions are gone. So we must love. Sometimes we find just the right person, and we aren't hurt, but we fight and keep our passions.

When CC told me he loved me I almost didn't know how to respond. I didn't think it was possible. Who would love me? I never thought anyone would even look at me in that way. Love was a yearning I had. When I finally felt it, after so long, I thought I must've been going insane. Love can't just come out of nowhere. You have to know a person to love them, and love at first sight? It's a myth. You have to take your time. So I'm here with my heart heavy with emotions and Cilyn looking expectant.

"You know I love you. You know I'd do anything for you. So what do you say? Will you be my boyfriend?" Boyfriend. There was a time I yearned for someone to call me that, but those days are long gone. So I looked into his eyes with a smile, but I didn't respond. I didn't have to. He knew my answer. He wanted me to say it, but I wasn't willing. Not yet. I couldn't bring myself to say yes or no, I still felt alone in this position. What if he turned his back on me? What if I really, really fall for him, and he just leaves? I knew he wouldn't but the possibility would always be there.

"Izzy?" I stared into his wide blue eyes, my emotions were everywhere. I loved him. I loved our son. So why can't I say it? Why am I pulling myself back? There's nothing wrong with loving someone. So what's keeping me in this position?

Dillon flashed before my eyes and I suddenly knew why. I couldn't have another one leave like that. I dropped my head down to the floor before my vision grew blurry and droplets of water crashed onto my hand. I rubbed at my eyes fiercely, wishing they'd stop. Why was it so hard for me to get over it? I thought I was over it...

"I'm really sorry... I can't. Not now. I want to but I..." I sobbed into my hands as Dillon's dead corpse stared through me. I wished it was easy. "I love you so much but I can't. I need to fix it! I have to get over it!" Flashes of the funeral rushed through me and I felt arms wrap around me and I knew what I had to do.

"I need to go. I'm sorry." I once hated love. Once hated the very thing that made me and destroyed me. I hated it for what it did to me. One day everything changed. I was love. Love was something I couldn't live without. It was a gift that the gods presented to me. So I stood and walked towards the door but was stopped.

"You were fine when I told you in the car. What's wrong?" I turned to him and leaned up to meet his lips. I gave him a chaste kiss before pulling away. I stared into his eyes and said only a few words.

"I love you. But I have to do one more thing before I say yes..." He looked down before seeming to understand.

"You can take the car. Don't be too long. I'd like to sleep tonight you know." I grinned at him before nodding and turning away taking the keys as I went. I glanced back to my son and my best friend. They seemed happy as I walked away, but I knew it wasn't because I was leaving, but because I was leaving.

Even you deserve love, Isaac.