Love is enough- Les Mis fanfic/Enjolras

Chapter 34

And I woke up.

I wasn't tossing and turning like previously, or talking in my sleep. It distressed me, but not to the point that I disturbed everyone else. I was used to it by now, I was expecting it.

I squinted in the dark trying to make out my boyfriends sleeping face and body. I traced his pouted lips with my fingers and stroked his stubbly chin to calm me down. I needed some water.

I slid off the bed, quiet as a mouse and lit an candle that sat on the bedside table. It flickered for a moment before burning brightly and it led me into the kitchen. I twisted the tap before I heard Grantaires voice:

"Can't sleep?" He half-whispered, his eyes and messy bed hair (almost as bad as E's) peeking over the arm of the sofa.

"Nightmares" I replied simply and he nodded, not wanting to ask any more questions. He got up and joined me in the kitchen, hopping on to the worktop surface.

"Why you up then?" I asked him

"Not tired I guess" he said, taking my glass and sipping. "Is Aurora still fast asleep?" He asked.

"Like a baby" I smirked, looking in the direction of the open door, where I could see his body that hadn't moved. "He's an annoying sleeper"

"And why is that?" He smiled.

"He wriggles around a lot... and steals the covers. And pushes me" I laugh dryly. We paused for a moment.

"You two are adorable" he said quietly and I looked at him.

"What about you R, you have a special someone in your life?" I asked him.

"Fraid not. I dunno, I guess it's hard to find someone whilst this is happening. I don't want to hurt them you know?" He said, staring off into the distance.

"Yeah I know" I sighed, causing him to look me in the eyes.

"You're a strong girl you are" he said somberly.

"I'm not" I uttered, looking away, feeling the all too familiar pang in my chest.

"Oh believe me you are. Stronger than all of us, even Enjolras" he said, laughing at the last part.

I embraced him in a hug. Hugs from R were the best. He knew just how to comfort you. He held you tightly, with no hint of letting go and provided you with a sense of safety and security in his arms. He was also really soft and comfortable.

"You wanna talk about your nightmare" he said into my hair.

"It's a long story" I said, too tired to smile fully.

"I've got time" he said, looking out of the window into the abyss of night.

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"And that's how I became the most messed up person to grace the planet" I finished with a sigh. I scanned R's face and didn't see any sign of disgust or even pity. He looked like he understood which was a relief.

"What a riveting story" he smiled and I grinned. He was able to bring humour to a situation that was far from funny. He was able to make me laugh in the darkest of times, something that not many people could do. Sometimes, everything got too serious and you needed something to lighten it up.

"I get what you mean. My depression 'kicked in' when I was about 12. My dad was an alcoholic like me and my ma was off with a different man every night. The only escape I had was art" he said and smiled fondly at the mention of his pastime.

"I'm getting better. Joly and Bosseut dragged me along to ABC meeting and I'm glad I went to be honest. Got a break from wallowing in self pity and met my friends who accepted me, even if I didn't believe in the cause" he said, sighing. I felt honoured that he had just revealed such a big part of his life to me.

"Well aren't our midnight chats just compelling" I laughed into the silence and R joined in and shuffled off the worktop.

"You better get some sleep" he said pushing me back into my room. "And shout for me if anything happens" he said and I nodded, understanding what he meant and I closed the door and crept back into bed, close to Enjolras, as if nothing had happened.

But something did happen.

I just learnt a lot about my best friend, I admitted to him my story- the second person I had told and I had had a nightmare. All in all, I was glad one of those things had happened.

"Lissy" I heard a mumble from beside me and I turned to face him. He was still fast asleep, with his mouth pushed against the pillow, making his words muffled.

"I love you" he said.

"I love you too Enjolras" I said softly, kissing his forehead, joining him in slumber.

And this time I didn't have a nightmare. I dreamed of a candle. A single candle, flickering in the unseeable darkness. In the flame were my best friends and it was replaying every memory we had shared since I met them all. It wasn't happy nor sad. It was peacefully reminiscent, reminding me that I still had some time left to make some more before they would be ripped and taken from me forever.

And for once in my life, I think I smiled in my sleep.