From Here On Out

thirty two

"Time isn't all it seems, No measure of you and me"

Present Day

Side by side they slept; his arms holding her body close as if she'd disappear into the night. She fell asleep faster than she had in a long time; the calming scent of peppermint and soap mixed with the wind lulled her to sleep. As if a lullaby that only he could sing.

The bedroom was dark, with only shines of moonlight coming in through the curtains. But he could still make out the silk blonde of her hair; the way it felt when he ran his fingers through it. Smooth as honey. He stayed awake late that night, just holding her. In the wild past twenty four hours he went from thinking he could never face this woman he holds now, to spending time with her in the closest most purest way possible.

It was almost as if the motions of skin on skin, and the feel of the sheets falling off them was able to wash away some of the past, some of the pain.

Laying there with her, then, he realized that it wasn't just this one instance with her that made the pain of the past few months fade. But of all their time together.

When you love someone, you have to expect pain.

When you care for someone, you have to expect to be let down at some point.

When you want to share your life with someone, you have to be ready for the hurt.

But you have to be prepared for the undying love as well. The burning, and aching in your heart when you're with them. The way your heart can be so broken, but can be mended completely by them at the same time.

It's a complicated, messy thing love is. But if you do it right... it can be truly beautiful.

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One and a Half Years Ago

"It's me," The voice floated through her machine with ease. "and I understand it if you don't bother listening to the end, and delete this message right now. But if you are still listening, I just need to tell you something."

Tris was frozen, unsure of what to do. Her mind screamed to shut it off, delete the message. But her heart... that was telling her to listen.

"I need you to know Beatrice that I'm not angry, I'm not blaming you in anyway for what you did. For leaving me, for leaving our life."

Beatrice; her true name yet something that seemed so foreign coming from him. It wasn't something he called her, the name barely ever came out of his mouth when he spoke to her. And she wondered if the sting in her heart was because he was actually using it, or about what that meant.

"But that doesn't mean that I wasn't hurt, that I'm still not feeling that hurt. It means that I can understand why you made the choice you made."

She felt guilty, how could she not. But it was a move that had to be made, and no matter how much she wished she could've stayed around after his fourth time in rehab... she just couldn't do it anymore.

"Look," A pause. "I should be angry, really I should. But that wouldn't be fair to you."

Tris bites her lower lip as she listens to Tobias speak, his words causing tears to burn her eyes.

"Because in the end I'm the reason that drove you away and I'm going to have to live with that. I'm going to have to live with the fact that I lost the one thing that was good in my life," She could tell this was one of those times that Tobias actually meant what he was telling her. "the one thing I loved."

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Present Day

Her hair danced in the wind like a flag, the honey blonde strands flying with each gust of cool spring air.

"It's finally getting warm out." Tris comments, feeling the sun returning to her skin. The warmth soaking in.

"Means we can finally plant those flowers in the yard you're always asking for." Tobias tells her, making her lift her head towards him with a small smile playing at her lips.

"But you hate gardening." She laughs, bumping her shoulder softly into his. As they continue walking hand in hand down the path that will soon lead them to their special spot on the bridge.

Tobias shrugs, a smile playing at his own lips. "The things I do for you, I suppose."

Butterflies begin to flutter deep within Tris's stomach when he says that.

"So I guess that means you're going to move back into the house?"

He never officially moved out, all his things were still there. But he hadn't lived there for months, and Tris was certainly feeling the emptiness. Until last night. 

Tobias's arm wraps around her shoulder, bringing her into his side. Feeling his lips press against her temple, she takes that as his answer.

A warm and loving yes.

"I know it's been a day," Tris begins to say as they reach the railing overlooking the sparkling blue water. "but I like the feel of this."

"What would this be?" Tobias asks her, wanting to hear specifically what she's thinking about.

"The way this," She motions between them. "feels. The way something that was once weighing us down, has been lifted."

Maybe it had to be brought on by more pain, and betrayal. But in the end, it changed something between them. A change they both knew they needed.

Tris's back hits the metal railing, as Tobias's hand hold her hips steady. His fingers inching slightly up onto her revealed skin, his touch sparking little fires like firecrackers on her skin.

"It's nice just being us for a change," Tris whispers to him, as his lips softly kiss her neck. "instead of trying to be different versions of ourselves, trying to become the person we think the other wants us to be."

Sure, changes needed to be made in both of them. Truths needed to be exposed, and demons needed to be fought. But changing everything for someone, isn't love. It's something completely different; something that isn't real.

To really love someone; you have to know them... for them.

"I think I could get used to us." Tobias teases, kissing her lips softly. The light touch leaving Tris craving more.

"I already have." Tris breathes out, slipping her hands into his hair and pulling his lips down to meet hers. Kissing her for real this time. Fulfilling every want and every need she had, and causing her heart to beat faster with each second.

A/N: I was having trouble writing since the last couple chapters, maybe because I was nervous about the topic that shown up in them but I'm really proud of this chapter. FourTris feels for you all, I hope you all keep reading and enjoying my story!