Voices: zayn malik

Voices

Part 1, slightly sexual so don't read if you don't want to see it~~~~~~~ 

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I never understood the outcome of life. A flower that bloomed a bloody fortune. After that flower blooms, you don't know what will come out of it. I used to wonder.no used to ponder. Now I'm just silent. I watch. I observe. I learn. I'm silent. 

I watch his steps carefully. I listen to what he says. I'm just like an exact clone of a trained dog. He says sit, I sit. He says shut up, I shut up. Zayn. A word that forever lingers in my brain. The reason for my silence. I try to portray what he calls love and innocence. I'm silent.  

Thursday, September 3. I layed in my room quite. I stayed still on my bed in a room clouded with thick smoke and the smell of sweat and skunk. He called my name. I got up and left to his room. "Sit." He said, and I obeyed.

I sat right to his left as he played with his unrolled bundle he prepared to smoke. He layed down and relaxed. He got straight to the point and told me to get started. I climbed on top of him, mounting him. He lit his joint and stared at the ceiling waiting impatiently. I unbuttoned his pants with jumbled hands. He sighed wanting me to cut to the chase. I pulled them down revealing his member. I gently grabbed his shaft and began to rub gently, yet he seemed unamused with this. I put my mouth around his tip and pulled him in deep, letting him hit the back of my throat. He closed his eyes and bit his lip. I worked roughly as he thrusted his hips forward. I took him in all the way and he tugged on my hair releasing. I always gave him the pleasure of swallowing his finish. He turned his back to me just as I thought. Why did I get my hopes up? Why did I believe it could be different? I got up to leave and go back to my room and that's when he stopped me.

"Why do you always leave like that?" He asked staring at me annoyed.

"You always want me too.."

"Not like that."

"Like what then? What You mean Zayn?"

"What do I mean? What the fuck do you think I mean Lexi? You run away silent like nothing ever happened, like you're depressed or some shit."

"I..I'm sorry." I looked down.

"Whatever you can go now." He turned his back towards me.

That was exactly what I meant. He wants me to go. Like nothing ever happened. I just never knew why. I walked into my room and plumped on my bed. Silent. I must've drifted asleep because Zayn came in the room pissed off for whatever reason.

"Get the fuck up." He yelled

I got up quickly rubbing my eyes and yawning. I looked at the clock. Only been four hours. I looked back at him. "What did I do?"

"I've been calling your name for at least five minutes yet you decide to lay here and be lazy. Figures. That's all you do anyways."

" I-I was tired Zayn.."

"Don't...back talk me..."

"I..I wasn't trying to Zayn. I was just tired is all and I fell asleep. I'm s.." I was cut off by a harsh feeling of sharp pain to my face. He back handed me.

"I said don't. Back. Talk. Me. Understood?"

I nodded in agreement holding my red cheek. He walked out of the room and outside to smoke a cigarette.

"Lexi. This isn't healthy for you. You know? You need to go. It's a good chance now. Just go out the window." Said Mariah

"I can't. He'd find me. Everyone would find me. Besides he just is an angry person."

"Same excuse. Same reason. Every time. Tick tock. The Times running out. Tick tock."

I shook my head and held my ears wanting and wishing that she'd only be quite. For once. Please be quite. Please leave me be. Zayn walked into the room asking who I was talking to. He complained that he hears me talking to somebody every day and my one response is always nothing. He says there's nobody there. Am I crazy? 

I stood up to face him. All I could do was look down.

"You're so goddamn pathetic. You lie. Who the hell was it lexi?" He pondered

I swallowed because I knew my answer. I was scared to say it.

"Nobody Zayn. It was nobody."

He nodded his head and stood there silent. Contemplating. Thinking. It was a good five or ten minutes before he actually broke the silence. He lunged himself at me and threw me against the wall holding me up right by my neck. He got in my face. Too close for comfort.

"Are you playing some kind of game? Do you want me to hurt you? Do you want me to go crazy? I will. I could do it now so easily. So fucking easily." He breathed down me neck.

I just wanted him to stop. All I could do was simply agree. He told at me for a while and let me go. He told me to go put something decent on because we were going out. It really was nice to get out of the house every now and then. I went to my room but stopped and looked in the mirror that hung over my dresser. I figured should put makeup over my bruises. That I did. I then went to my closet and found a simple blue striped v neck tee with some blue skinny jeans. I put on a pair of black vans and brushed my hair up. I fluffed around the curls a little bit for a cute touch. I can't wear something to revealing otherwise Zayn will have a heart attack. He called me downstairs and of course, I obeyed. I walked down and looked at him. He was wearing a pair of black jeans and a white collar button down. Even when he looks simple, he looks adorable. I smiled at thought of it.

"What? Too much?"

"N-no it looks nice." I said.

He smiled and grabbed my hand and guided me to the car. Sometimes he was really sweet. As if nothing happened. But other times were just a bother. He helped me into the car and he got in himself. He grabbed my hand as we drove.

"Zayn where are we going?"

"To a club." He said briefly.

Perfect. I always loved partying. Only one problem. Zayn loves to drink when we club. He's one of those obnoxious mean drunks. I couldn't say anything though. I had to hold my tongue. We arrived at the club and about fifteen minutes into in I lost Zayn through people when he found his friends. Alright. Free time. I ordered a few drinks and got on the floor dancing like a crazy bitch when two strong arms wrapped around my waist and started grinding with me. I laughed and danced back. Then it hit me. This isn't Zayn. I shot around and got a glimpse of the blonde haired green eyed Prince.

"Ello love, what might your name be?" He shot me a deathly gorgeous smirk.

"I-I'm lexi annnnd?"

"James. May I buy you a drink?"

"Sure...." I said hesitantly looking around.

We walked over to the bar and he ordered me a shot. I slammed one maybe two down. We had a great chat for what seemed like hours. It was really only two. I learned a lot about him. That's when I actually felt seen. Somebody listened. Even my boyfriend of three years doesn't listen to me.

"May I get a number?" He asked cautiously

"Well...I..Yeah sure but I'm not single..." I warned

"Of course. You're too pretty not to be latched on to.."

This made me smile. I gave him my digits. He gave me a slight hug and appreciated our communication. That's when I saw Zayn. A steamy, angry, murderous face. It is then that I realized this would be a night to remember. Little did I know that this was the night I was about to experience almost death. This would be where the voices start. It is then, that he walked over.