His 'meant to be' (Kaisoo)

Chapter 31 : Guilty

 warning photo could be triggering !

,, kai "

,, what ?" the tall male walked down the stairs searching for the person that called him .

,,my mums asleep come here and eat dinner with me" the bright smile on sehun face was directed at jongin but it didnt quite land on him .the smiles sehun was giving him never realy affected jongin that much .

,, i'm not realy hungry "

,, come on kai is it still because of eren ? when can you finally let go of them "

,, how could i, .. i still dont know what she meant with i had no clue"

,, maby you had no clue how much you should pity them ? we all know you only saved yourself . no offence but they were all just pulling you down-"
,, they never pulled me down and suho is youre friend aswell maby leaving was a mistake " his voice got quieter as he looked the other way

,, so being with me is a mistake ?"

those words made jongin hesitate with his answer .and unfortunatly for him sehun noticed as jongin opened his mouth again
,, thats not what i meant-"
,, no i get it " exhaling disbelieved the younger walked closer to him .

,, its still about kyungsoo isnt it ? you just cant get over that annoying kid-"
,, hey !" jongin snapped feeling angerd somehow .

,, i knew it .. i thought it was just due to your trauma that you still had nightmares about him but you know what ? if you still have him so much in youre mind ,then why dont you just go to him, why are you even here !?" angrily sehun yelled at him. wich made the older only snapp inside as he aswell got closer to him .

,, you know damn well that its not that easy !sometimes i ask myself if you even try to understand me, my cousin was the rapist of kyungsoo,of the person i loved  and you know that and still expect me to forget all that forcing me to laugh at all youre fucking lame jokes and even drag me back here where everything took place !"

,, stop cursing all the time i told you-"
,, to change ? i love cursing sehun .fuck fuck shit shit everything . cursing is amazing and if you realy knew me or accepted me then you would know but you bearly know me
all you know is the guy you want me to be ,but thats not me . i love laughing at people who fall down because they are too stupid to walk . i love messing everything up and curse because i in the end cant handle it and clean it .i love fighting and teasing and i love eating on the ground while watching tv or being too lazy to get a knife and a fork to eat pizza or shit ... " he panted once he finished realizing what a hole in his heart was .he knew the hole he had inside was there and he tried to stuff it with sehun .
but sehun will never be the one to stuff that hole .

cause only kyungsoo can do that .

a smile decorated his face .,, i correct myself ..
kyungsoo isnt the one i loved .
kyungsoo is the one i love ."

sehun was staring right back into jongins eyes at those words the youngers eyes had anger written all over them

,, sehun .. i .. i think you're right " he exclaimed ,, i realy cant stop thinking about that kid and you know what else ? .. i need him cause he does accept me the way i am " he looked into the youngers eyes .

,, kai, dont you dare talk  to me like that you need me-"
,, goodbye sehun thanks for everything .but realy .. no thanks for nothing "he grabbed his jacket and ran to the door opening it harshly as he left everything behind . to his luck it was raining and the wind was cold but he didnt care as he ran down the streets .