Aleks is verging on the brink of insanity.
When he’s not researching the ever living fuck out of Jordan, he’s shaking from a lack of a hit. When he’s not shaking from the lack of a kill, he’s thinking of ways to get past Jordan to James. When he’s not thinking about James, he’s missing Seamus. When he’s not missing Seamus, he’s keeping tabs on Jordan. It’s a vicious cycle that has Aleks either a sweating mess, a desperate weakling or an angry killer. He needs too much, but isn’t even close to getting anything. It’s stressing him out beyond belief which is only making his desire to kill someone burn even stronger.
He briefly teases the idea of killing Ze because he’s so desperate to quench his bloodlust and Ze is just within arm’s length, but Aleks knows Seamus would lose it if Aleks killed his step brother. Seamus is the only thing that can really stop Aleks and keep him focused. He doesn’t have time to waste killing bystanders when he can just save himself for James thus satisfying both his lust for a good kill and his lust for Seamus. But it’s hard to resist one kill with the cycle of insanity comboed with the frustration of being so close to James but Jordan standing in the way with a side dish of Jordan’s entire record of being alive consisting of one dead end after one dead end.
He’s currently curled up in the corner in the fetal position, nibbling on his thumb nail while rocking back and forth with his eyes trained to the plush carpet beneath him. It’s like a mantra in his head, “Kill, kill, kill” and his breath is coming out in short puffs. He can’t take it. He needs to kill something. He’s gone something like three weeks without a hit and starting to feel the effects of withdrawal. He needs-
He grits his teeth together. No, no, no he’s not breaking down. He’s saving this for James. That’s what he promised himself. It’ll be so gratifying to tear into James’ flesh and spill his blood to the floor and hear James’ scream of agony that would be louder than any of James’ rage videos and the crack of James’ bones and-
It’s too much for him; even just the thought of what he’s going to do to James. It’s set fire to the blood in his veins and added a whole new level of trembling to Aleks’ already unstable hands. He needs a hit. He needs one now.
“Aleks?”, he hears Ze’s voice calling him out, but it’s muffled with the blood pounding in Aleks’ ears.
“Aleks, what’s wrong?”, Ze calls out again and Aleks’ bloodshot eyes are torn away from the carpet to look at Ze. Aleks barely registers the concerned look on Ze’s face and the outstretched hand trying to touch him. Ze is taking cautious steps forward which only causes Aleks’ to squish himself further into his corner.
“Go.”, Aleks voice is scratchy, “Go away.”
“Aleks-”
“Go before I do something I regret.”, the fear has seeped into Aleks’ tone because he’s so scared that he’s going to do something just to douse the fire that’s threatening to burn Aleks alive from the inside out.
“Aleks you need to tell me what’s wrong so I can help you.”
“A hit. A hit. I need a hit.”, Aleks murmurs, continuing to rock back and forth with his arms squeezing his knees tighter to his chest. “Hit, hit…”
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The Call of the Void
FanfictionAleks has struggled with it his entire life. It's an addiction that's more dangerous than any drug could ever be. He's broken up family and friendships. He's shattered the people around him that he loves. He just doesn't know how to avoid the call o...
