The Call of the Void

Final Notes

As I write this, the epilogue has just gone up and I have no idea what the general consensus is. I'll spoil this for you right now, I'm displeased with the ending. But that's for later on in this.

I've refrained from doing author's notes (except near the end) through out this fic mostly because I know that people don't generally give a shit about what the author has to say and are mostly just in it for the fic. I've been saving it all up till this which I've wanted to write since Chapter 4, to be honest.

Mostly I just want to talk about a few things that went on behind the scenes, the inspiration for this fic, why I am displeased with the ending and some thank yous to go along with this. I'll start with inspiration since I've wanted to share this since the beginning of the story.

The inspiration for this story came from a few different things. One, shamefully, was the TV show Scandal. I had spent most of my Christmas break just holded up in my room for hours on end just marathoning Scandal like it was my job. I was absolutely fascinated with the character of Huck and had wanted to write a fic based around the sort of condition that he had; hence Aleks' addiction to killing. Huck and Aleks are very similar in certain ways, but both have their extremes in certain areas. I won't discuss those here to avoid boring you. While it hasn't been classified as an addiction to killing on the show, I simplified it to that just so the idea was manageable. Around the same time, Danisnotonfire the Youtuber had come out with a video entitled "Psycho Thoughts" which spoke of a concept call L'appel de vide which literally translates, in English, to The Call of the Void. This is where the first line of the fic as well as the title came from. Through out the fic you can see bits and pieces of Scandal mixed in (ie: Fitzgerald and his family to mirror FItz and Olivia on the show as well as the fmaily they always dream of having etc.) as well as nods to some other things that probably no one else will get. The titles of the chapters (excluding the epilogue which came from Bastille's Pompeii) are song lyrics from Justin Bieber's (and there goes everyone's respect for me as a writer) compelation album "Journals" which had also come out around the time of Dan's video and me picking up Scandal. As you can see, all these things had to line up for me to actually get around to making this fic and I'm really proud to have put one of my ideas together into a serious fic that didn't subject to Creature fic cliches such as having everyone be gay for each other, turning the fic into just a smutfest or having the girls be the villains. This is the first serious piece of writing I have ever completed (not counting my weird sort of overly emotional five part series I wrote when I was 12-13 and my NaNoWriMo 2013 which hit the word count and then was abandoned.)

Behind the scenes stuff was a mess. I recently went back to read the first chapter of this fic and wow my writing style has changed sicne then. You can tell from the beginning that this fic was never supposed to be the huge ensemble cast that it ended up being since the first few chapters are told strictly through Aleks' eyes and were very short in terms of length and progress. The reason for this is that this was supposed to be a NovaHD mental illness fic, if you can believe it. The fic was supposed to follow Aleks and Eddie around until Eddie would have made a move to Colorado and Aleks was to follow him there. Then Aleks and James were supposed to make a connection as well as Aleks with the toher Creatures then it would have just been Aleks slowly picking off the other Creatures until only James was left and James would have eventually been killed. In looking back, it's a very weak idea that I'm glad I didn't go through with. I would have abandoned had I gone with that idea mostly because I would have gotten bored with such a narrow context. Most of the reason that I wanted it to be a NovaHD fic of that nature is because this guy that I met in the Creature fandom was complaining about the lack of good NovaHD fics in the fandom at that point, so I wanted to make him happy and write him something for him. The confession of love that Aleks eventually makes to James was set to happen around Valentine's Day and was going to be an extension of me admitting my feelings to this guy. The most embarassing part about this is that he's going to eventually read this note and realize what's going down. Oops. Hi, dude, this whole entire mess of a fic was for you. Aren't you special.
I've shared before that the big wrench in that original plan was Chapter 3 where Ze and Aleks meet in the parking lot. That was where I decided to toss away my old plan and turn it into what it is now. The set up chapters before Aleks accepts Seamus' offer were all written completely blind with little idea of where they were going and generally just stalling for time until I could formulate a plot idea. As you can tell, it all worked out in the end. The toher wrench in the plans was incorperating Jordan as a main player in the game. He was originally supposed to have a very small part during the James arc of this story, but as that arc was drawing to a close, I realized that I didn't want to end the fic once that arc ended. One of my main goals for this fic was to break 100k words (which did eventually happen. The whole fic, not counting this author's note, ended up being 106,897 words.) and I needed something to extend the plot. So that's how Jordna being like Aleks came along and there was a brief flirtation of making the story a KootraHD one where Jordan and Aleks team up and kill a bunch of people, but I eventually decided that the rivalry was a more interesting take on it, hence what eventually happened. Dan being a major player in the end also came by surprise for me, but I needed to have one character that people couldn't absolutely hate because I was getting kind of sick of how unlikeable everyone was getting which is why he ended up being the """"angelic"""" sort of character. Also, Dan rarely gets a huge part in these ensemble fics, so I wanted to break so boundaries there. Other surprises that came along through out plot building was Kevin being a major player (he was originally supposed to be dead and just a mention between Seamus and Ze in the beginning, but then he turned into that), Steven having relevance (I'll be honest, I'm displeased with my interpretation of Steven. I don't really watch him so I knew little about him and was mostly just a place holder to fill up a role that needed to be filled. Probably would have been more effective to have an OC to be honest) and Kevin/Seamus being a genuine relationship. All of these things I never could ahve predicted in my mental planning, but I do think they gave a little substance to the fic (at least in terms of Kevin and the Kevin/Seamus relationship) that wouldn't have been there otherwise.

Now, that ending. I don't really like it. The whole point of that ending was to give closure, but not enough closure that everything wrapped up nice and tight because I hate story that end that way. I want you to have to imagine what happens after. Stories that end up so neatly wrapped never sit well with me and sit too comfortably in the realms of fiction when the whole point of writing is to engage your audience into your world and make them think it's all real. I mean the Ze part, I think, is great. I really like the way that turned out and how I couldn't leave y'all without corrupting one more character. I know he was a favourite among readers and I couldn't resist having him be something greater than what he was throughout the entire fic. The Dan part was good despite the conversation with the cabbie being a little iffy on my part. Sorry for that. But I had to show the """angelic figure""" of the fic under the weight of what went down. I mean, some heavy friggin shit went down in this fic. I'm surprised anyone stomached everything I threw at you. Dan also has a very ambigious ending, much like Ze, and it's up to your interpretation to figure out what happens next. I have my own ideas which I refuse to share. But no, what really bugs me is the ending with Seamus and Kevin.
You should know that this ending has been written down for a long time. Like it was decided that Aleks was going to die at the end very early on and that Seamus was going to be the one to turn him in, but I hadn't decided on the last scene being that. When thoughts of a sequel were lurking around, the last scene was supposed to be this whole dramatic plot about Aleks' escaping from his cell and vowing to find and kill Seamus for what he did. I would have gone with that but, frankly, I don't have the commitment in me for a sequel. The last scene that I went with, however, was decided jsut after Monica was killed. I don't know why it was decided there, but it was. My problem with it, however, is that it didn't adapt too well to the ideas that eventually came into the fic (the whole basement sequence, Kevin and Steven being siblings etc.) as it was decided long before those ideas came to light. I've been wracking my brain trying to think of a better last scene, but I just couldn't so I coped out and went with the original idea. It didn't translate well to the adptations the fic had to go through, but it's up to you if it's good or not. I've pretty much accepted that any ending I could come up with could never live up to any idea you've had for the fic because I've been staring at this fic at such a clsoe distance for nearly six months now. Maybe I didn't see the right big picture and you, as a reader, did. I dunno. The ending will probably be one of my biggest regrets for this fic when I look back on it in a few years.

And finally- god I've been rambling for too long- some thank you. Thank you to each and everyone of you that voted, commented and read this dumb little fic. It was my first piece of writing published on this site and it got much better than I ever could ahve anticipated. Honestly, I was expecting maybe 200 reads at the most, but here we are at nearly 9k reads. My mind is blown. Honestly, some of your comments have made me cry like the ones that say I have an actual talent as a mystery/thriller writer, ones that say this is good enough for TV/movie and ones that just rambled on and on about the feelings you had for the characters in the fic and seeing you actually get invested in something that I created. I got attention from some pretty chill people here that I had been watching from afar and just hoping that I could be as good of a writer as them/as popular as them. Like holy shit, some of you are big names to me and here you are reading my messed up piece of fanfiction? What is this life??? It's never been a numbers game to me, which is why I never ask you to vote or comment or follow me or whatever after chapters, because that's just not where my heart lies. My heart lies in making at least one person happy with my writing and it makes me so happy to know that I made a lot of people happy (well a twisted sort of happy that had them crying over my characters. Sorry :D) with this. It will forever be one of my proudest achievements in this life and I'm so glad I could share it with all of you.

What's next for me? No sequel to this as I said before, but I do have my other fic Too Close to the Sun which has been started up. I won't be getting back to it for a while since my exams are coming up which is why I wrapped this fic up when I did, but it should be in full force come summer. Other than that, my usual variosu one-shots and maybe getting back to that drabble challenge. I dunno. But I'm just gonna rest up for a bit, really. See y'all when I see you. And thank you for making me one of the happiest people alive :)