He hangs up before Aleks can ask anymore questions.
He didn't mean to say it. That's his secret and his alone. Aleks isn't supposed to know that Seamus is in love with him because Seamus doesn't love anyone. He's Seamus fucking O'Doherty. It's just not who he is. It just slipped out, a mistake, a-
He loves Aleks.
He pinches the bridge of his nose, his eyes slipping closed as he leans back in his chair. He doesn't have the energy to deal with this right now. Aleks was supposed to just be some guy who killed a couple guys for him and now Seamus has dug himself a hole deeper than he did for Kevin. Ze was right, he never should have brought Aleks into this, he never should have started watching him, he never should have walked by that house-
He loves Aleks.
“Seamus?”
Seamus' eyes fly open to see Kevin in the doorway of his office. His eyebrows are furrowed as he stares at Seamus.
“Are you okay?”, Kevin asks.
Seamus sighs heavily. “I've got a problem, Kev.”
“If you're talking about the Eddie problem, then yeah, you got a hell of a problem. What are you going to do when Aleks gets here? He's gonna start asking questions about his best fucking friend. What the hell are you going to say?”
Shit. Aleks is going to notice. Fucking shit, this is all his fault. If Aleks had never come along... Seamus would have been a hell of a lot less happy. He looks at Kevin with a grim expression as the realization washes over him. “Kevin, I'm in love with Aleks.”
Kevin blinks at him, his posture deflating and the worry lines on his face smoothing. “Are you serious? Do you have any idea how complicated this is going to be. After everything you've seen him do and everything you've-”
“I understand.”, Seamus say simply.
“His best friend is dead in the fucking basement because of you and you're telling me you're in love with him!?”
Seamus nods, the causality of the gesture making Kevin throw his hands up in the air in frustration.
“God damn it, Seamus, why do you have to be so fucking complicated?”
Seamus sighs, sitting properly in his chair. “Please help me. I can't fuck this up with Aleks. He's different. He makes me... feel things I haven't felt for anyone else. If I lose him... I might die. Please.” Seamus O'Doherty doesn't beg and here he is metaphorically on his knees in front of Kevin, asking him to help maintain his relationship with a guy he's in love with. Seamus is a mess. He didn't plan this.
Kevin eyes him wearily. “Are you absolutely sure that you're in love with him?”
YOU ARE READING
The Call of the Void
FanfictionAleks has struggled with it his entire life. It's an addiction that's more dangerous than any drug could ever be. He's broken up family and friendships. He's shattered the people around him that he loves. He just doesn't know how to avoid the call o...
