The Call of the Void

The Call of the Void- Chapter 5- Life Outta Control

He's been sitting in the driveway for something like 20 minutes just tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. He doesn't know what the hell he's gonna tell Eddie about his whereabouts since he's obviously been somewhere other than the Starbucks down the street. It's probably written on his forehead, that's how obvious it is.
Eddie's gonna think he's killed someone, he just knows it. They're gonna fight about it, he knows, because it's not like Aleks can tell him the truth.
He's not about to tell Eddie that he got a job offer for the one thing he shouldn't be doing.
Aleks sighs, deciding to just bite the bullet and be as vague as possible if Eddie starts asking questions. He grabs Eddie's food and the laptop before exiting the car. He stores the laptop in the trunk of his car before walking up to the door. Aleks takes a deep breath and he twists the knob, preparing himself for the oncoming storm.
When Aleks walks in, he can hear Eddie yelling from his room, probably recording something. He drops the food onto the kitchen island and sheds his jacket onto the nearest couch before continuing on to go see his roommate. He leans in the open doorway, watching Eddie record Mine craft Survival Games, knowing better than to interrupt Eddie's recording.
"Fuck! You asshole!", Eddie yells as he gets killed by an oncoming arrow, effectively ending his game. He sighs in frustration before turning to Aleks. "How nice of you to come home."
"I can wait.", Aleks whispers.
"This isn't for Youtube. This is just for fun.", Eddie explains, pressing the off button on his monitor before directing his full attention to Aleks. "So where have you been this time?"
"Your food is in the kitchen, I was just dropping into to say "Hi, I'm back and not dead."", Aleks says, ignoring Eddie's previous question.
He begins to walk out before Eddie gets up and grabs his arm. Aleks' breath catches in his chest as Eddie pulls him back into his room. With his free hand, Eddie shuts his bedroom door closed, eyes never leaving Aleks'.
"Where have you been?", Eddie repeats.
"I gotta... I gotta go record-"
"Aleks, I want an answer."
Aleks keeps his mouth shut, staring straight into Eddie's eyes and not showing the slightest sense of discomfort.
"Aleks, don't lie."
Aleks stays quiet.
Gingerly, Eddie raises the arm he holds, eyes drifting to Aleks' hand. Both of Eddie's hands move to cradle the tight fist, observing the blood that's lingered on Aleks' knuckles from his encounter with Seamus and Ze. Eddie lets out a shaky breath, tears beginning to form in his eyes. "Aleks, you didn't.", Eddie meets his roommate's eyes desperately, "Please don't tell me-"
"I didn't. I didn't,  I swear.", Aleks whispers, jerking his hand away from Eddie.
"Why is there blood on your knuckles?", Eddie whispers, "Tell me!"
"I didn't kill anyone! I swear to God I didn't.", Aleks shouts in return.
"You always say that Aleks, you always do! And I believe you every fucking time because I don't want to think about you doing those things.", Aleks has never seen his best friend this angry before, especially with him. He's never been on the receiving end of Eddie's yelling unless it's in a recording. "Tell me where you were!"
"No!", Aleks protests, "If you want to pretend that I'm not what I am, then fine. You can pretend. But if you want to keep that illusion up, then you don't want to know where I was."
"I'm not trying to-"
"Yes, you are pretending, Eddie! You've been pretending since I told you about all this. You pretend that you can make this all better for me and that I can be a better person, but I can't! I just can't, Eddie! It's fucking impossible!"
Eddie's gone silent, knowing that what Aleks says is more than true. Aleks has known it from the beginning, but he too, has been trying to pretend that it isn't true.
"Aleks, I-"
"No! You don't get to preach to me anymore. You don't understand what's going on with me even though you like to think that you do.", Aleks just realizes now that he's towering over Eddie, invading his personal space. He looks into those hurt eyes, knowing that he's cutting too deep, but he's too far in to stop now. "I'm not getting better. Not now, not ever because this is who I am! This is-"
Aleks is cut off abruptly by Eddie raising himself up on his toes and crashing his lips against Aleks'. Aleks is stunned and unable to move as Eddie pours his every emotion into that kiss. Eddie's hands move to grip the sides of Aleks' face tightly, making sure Aleks can't move until he's done. Eddie's lips move gracefully against Aleks', the kind of grace that comes from someone whose been in love with the person in front of him forever.
Eventually, Eddie pulls back, panting as he looks directly into Aleks' eyes. "I've been pretending about a lot more than just your addiction."
Aleks can't even speak. His best friend just kissed him. Fucking kissed him. How is he supposed to-
"Aleks, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.", Eddie whimpers and is just about to pull Aleks into a hug, but Aleks quickly jerks himself away and out of Eddie's touch.
"I... Eddie... I"
"It was a mistake. I didn't mean to I just-"
Aleks shakes his head vigorously,  his brow furrowed, before walking out of the room. He walks past his own room, ignoring Eddie calling after him. He picks up his jacket that's drapped over the arm of the couch and covers himself with it to protect him from the cold wind outside. Eddie keeps calling after him, begging him not to leave. Aleks makes his way to the door, shoving it open just as Eddie catches up with him.
"Aleks. Aleks, please. Please don't go. Please don't go, I'm sorry.", Eddie pleads, clutching onto the fabric of Aleks jacket. Aleks shoves Eddie's hand off of him, slamming the door in the middle of one of Eddie's pleas.
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Aleks has his phone pressed up against his ear, listening to the phone ring on the other side.
After he left the house, he drove himself to the nearest convenience store and let himself sit in the parking lot to process what just happened.
Eddie kissed him. A real kiss. A real Aleks-I-Like-You-As-More-Than-A-Friend kiss. Eddie said he'd been pretending about more than Aleks' addiction. Eddie completely fucked with everything that they were. He just-
"Didn't think I'd hear your voice so soon. Miss me already?", the voice answers on the other side.
Aleks rolls his eyes at Seamus' smugness as he sips at the Pepsi bottle he bought before he made this call. "I'm calling about the deal you made me."
"I knew slipping my number into your pocket before you left was a good idea.", Seamus gloats, "So what's the verdict? You talk to the ball and chain at home?"
That was what was stopping him from saying yes to this deal in the first place. Eddie. The reason for pretty much anything he did was for Eddie. "Him and I... well I walked out."
"Ooo, a divorce. Did it not go well? Did you get to keep the kids?"
"It's not a divorce.", Aleks protests, "It's just... a conflict of interests."
"Yeah, I don't care what you and your roommate get up to. Is it a yes or no?"
Aleks hasn't got anywhere else to go. He can't go back home and face Eddie. He's not dealing with those emotions right now. With everything else on his plate, a relationship with Eddie is the last thing on his mind. He just-
Aleks growls into the phone as a million thoughts about what to do flit through his head.
"I asked for a yes or no, not a growl, dear Aleks.", Seamus quips.
With an exhausted sigh, Aleks responds,"Yes. I'm in."
Aleks can practically hear Seamus' smile through the phone. "Excellent choice, Aleks. You won't regret this."
In some twisted way, Aleks believes him.
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It's sunset by the time Aleks pulls up to Seamus' extravagant house. He's been ignoring frantic calls and texts from Eddie begging, pleading and then practically demanding Aleks come home so Eddie can explain himself. Aleks isn't about to pick those up though. He's too exhausted with everything to deal with one more mess in his life. He understands that he's just running away from his problems, but he needed to get to Seamus before he lost control of himself. With this much stress going on, it was only a matter of time before he went looking for a hit to calm his nerves. Eddie used to be the one that he went running to, but obviously that wasn't an option at this point.
Seamus is going to have to be his new anchor now which sounds like an oxymoron within itself considering what Seamus is asking of him. Aleks doesn't want to think too much into it though.
He parks his car in the cul-de-sac, cutting the ignition and the mind numbing Top 40s pop that was blaring from his speakers. He thought that mindless pop music would have been enough to keep his mind off the fact that he could get rid of all this stress and anxiety if he just went looking for some pretty girl walking home and slit her throat nice and easy. It worked for a while, but without that music, that burn is still in his chest just begging to be quenched.
More often than not, Aleks scares himself with the strength and power this addiction has over him.
Aleks climbs out of the car as he slips his car keys back into the pocket of his dark jeans. He walks up to Seamus' front door and knocks, gripping and slamming the fancy door knocker with a little more force than necessary. It's only a few seconds before Seamus opens up with a smile on his face.
"So you're officially mine now.", Seamus says, looking Aleks up and down. "You've made a good decision, Aleks."
Aleks nods mindlessly, entering the house as Seamus closes the door behind him.
They stand in the foyer a few feet away from each other, simply staring each other down. Aleks digs his hands into his pockets with his eyes cast downward.
"I know I said I don't really care, but do you need to talk about what happened between you and Eddie?", Seamus asks with a voice of concern that Aleks never thought the guy could muster out of himself.
Aleks shakes his head.
"Soooo, you're gonna be okay?"
Aleks nods as Seamus closes the distance between them. Aleks looks up and meet his sky blue eyes, entrancing and tempting as they are. Seamus genuinely looks concerned for Aleks' well being which Aleks wasn't expecting when he walked in here.
Another surprise hits Aleks like a ton of bricks when Seamus wraps his arms around him and pulls Aleks close. Seamus embraces him with a kindness and sweetness that doesn't match his default demeanour, but Aleks isn't about to complain. He accepts the hug, allowing himself to settle into Seamus' chest and wrap his own arms around the taller man's shoulders.
"You can talk to me, Aleks, it's okay. I don't expect you to be made of stone.", Seamus whispers in his ear.
With Seamus' last word, Aleks breaks down into sobs against Seamus' strong body.
"It's okay. I got you, it's okay.", Seamus coos to Aleks as Aleks lets out his every frustration and heartbreak with his sobs. Seamus' hand rubs against Aleks' back reassuringly as he holds Aleks through his broken sobs.
"Seamus, Seamus.", Aleks whimpers, clutching Seamus impossibly closer.
"You're with me now. You're gonna be okay. I'll protect you."