Anamnesis [Lacuna #2] {Completed}

Chapter Four

"Desderium (n.) an ardent longing, as for something lost"

~Erin~

"A fire burned down the house in the 1972. Apparently the landlord rented it out to some stupid people... there was an accident. The land wasn't worth enough money to rebuild." Erin told Bucky, her voice almost a whisper.

Bucky was quiet. They hadn't said more than 5 words the whole hour it took them to walk back to the jet. Erin's sensitivity to electricity hadn't been a problem in the last few weeks. She didn't know if it was the vastness of the city or the silence of the walk back that made it seem like electric shocks were being shot up and down her arms and legs. She had to focus on every OPEN sign and streetlight to keep the quiet between the two of them from driving her mad.

As soon as Bucky saw an empty lot filled with trash and dirt had replaced his family home, he had gone rigid next to her. There was no sign that a house had once been built there. The neighborhood itself had turned into tall apartment buildings and filthy warehouses.

Without so much as another word, he turned away from where the house had been and didn't look back. Erin lingered for a moment, looking at the place that was suppose to help Bucky remember, a place she thought they could start.

She had been a fool.

They wandered the surrounding area before deciding to head back. The fall New York weather was making it grow darker more quickly and they wanted to be back to the jet before nightfall.

As soon as they were safe inside the plane, Bucky told Erin he needed a shower. While he did that, she turned to the computer area that sat next to the co-pilot seat to see if anything could be found about the house.

Erin didn't think it would be difficult to find the information she wanted. She simply typed the address into a search engine and thought the answer would be right there, but it took her more time than she felt comfortable with.

The first time she looked up the address, there was no record of a house ever being built there at all. It began rerouting her to the same address in different states and cities, like the search was meant to go anywhere but Brooklyn. She had to go through back doors and past firewalls to get any kind of information that wasn't a façade about the address. Even that wasn't enough. It was like someone intentionally didn't want her, or anyone else, to find out anything about the address.

She began typing in nearby addresses around where the house had been until finally she got a match.

Bucky sat next to her now, looking at pictures from a newspaper database Erin managed to break into.

"It's not even from a paper in New York," Erin said, "It's from a small town in New Jersey. A man from there owned the property next to the house." She turned to look at him. Apart from his set jaw, his expression was unreadable as his still wet hair fell in his face.

"Buck," She said softly, "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault." He said quietly, but still not looking at her.

"I should have looked up the address before we went searching for it... I wasn't thinking." The guilt washed over her in waves. The letter had been in the back of her mind the last few days, but she hadn't pulled it out of the box until that morning. For some reason it didn't cross her mind to search the address's history first. Now that she was thinking of it, she felt like an idiot for even assuming the house would still be there. How could she have been so stupid?

"It doesn't matter. I don't remember anything anyways." Bucky shook his head without looking at her.

Erin didn't believe him, but she also didn't want to press him about it. He would tell her when he was ready. "Why don't we go back tomorrow?" She asked cautiously. "The house may be gone, but you remembered something in that ally. Maybe we could start there and just... see if there's anything else we can find."