Anamnesis [Lacuna #2] {Completed}

Chapter Twenty Seven

"Quondam (adj.) belonging to sometime long past, but no longer"

~Bucky~

Bucky walked along the icy train tracks and tried as best he could not to look down. A light snow had began to fall. It was like that day they had taken down the HYDRA train was on replay.

He stopped in the middle of the tracks and looked backwards, then ahead. Finally, he forced himself to look down. Over the icy edge, he saw his own decent before his eyes. This is where he had fallen.

Bucky!

Grab my hand!

He could see Steve's outreached hand, so close. He just had to reach a little further-

He could almost hear his own scream as he fell.

Before he could overthink what he was about to do, he slid off the side of the mountain, his vibranium fingers scraping against the ice as he went.

*****

He couldn't remember how he had lost his arm in the fall, but he remembered the pain. He remembered seeing red blood on the white snow as he was dragged. He remembered being relieved for a second, one simple second as he recognized the Soviet Union uniforms. They were part of the Allies Powers. They're our allies. He had thought.

He had been wrong.

When he landed safely at the bottom, Bucky started walking. He passed evergreen trees and frozen streams that had been there when he had been taken.

He walked for miles. He didn't even know what direction he was walking in or if he had a destination in mind. The cold bit at his face. Even his super soldier body couldn't last forever in the cold.

Finally, he saw something. It was a small metal hanger covered in snow. There were metal doors covered in ice and rust that probably hadn't been opened in years.

Bucky pried it open and entered.

*****

It was dark inside the HYDRA base where he had become to Winter Soldier. He followed the hallway that led to various labs and offices. It was mostly abandon, years of weather evident in the ceiling and walls.

He entered one of the labs that still had a small metal table in it.

Sergeant Barnes... You will be the new fist of HYDRA. A voiced echo in his mind.

Bucky squeezed his eyes shut trying to will away the memories. But this had been what he wanted, hadn't it? To remember?

His head hurt and he wanted nothing more than to run; run back to Erin and the safety he felt in her presence. The calm she was to him storm.

He stood there for a moment, his eyes closed, back against the wall. He had seen many things in his life. Experienced terrible, awful things, he thought he was past the point of fear. But here, in this abandon HYDRA facility where they had replaced Bucky Barnes and put in the Winter Soldier, he was more afraid than ever.

It's not about your demons, Erin's voice echoed in his mind, It's about how you fight them.

The image of her face flashed across his mind. He pictured her warm smile and the way she looked at him with care and compassion. He could almost hear her laugh, her brown eyes lighting up.

He had been an idiot to leave her.

A noise reverberated on the walls of the base. He wasn't alone.

Bucky grabbed a knife from his belt and spun around quicky, readying his sniper. He hid beside the open door, watching a shadow grow smaller and smaller as the person came closer to approaching the room he was in.