Anamnesis [Lacuna #2] {Completed}

Chapter Thirty

"Cingulomania (n.) a strong desire to hold a person in one's arms"

~Bucky~

Bucky slept peacefully that night. There were no nightmares and for the first time in a long time, his heart rate was normal, and his mind was peaceful.

He woke up to see Erin asleep on the couch next to him. He got sat up slowly and took in the sight of her. He still couldn't believe that last night had happened and it wasn't a dream. The entire flight back to D.C. he envisioned a thousand different scenarios about what she would say to him. Most of them involved her screaming or punching him, but he never imagined she would be the one to hold him so tightly. He never imagined she would recite that verse to him, not in a million years. She had forgiven him. God knows he didn't deserve it, but she gave it to him anyways.

He smiled to himself so happy to have found something so precious and rare as this love he had been given.

He knew how much Erin loved coffee so he got up and walked into the kitchen to make some for them. As he searched the cupboards for coffee and filters he heard footsteps behind him.

"It's above the dishwasher."

Bucky turned around to see Cara standing in the doorway.

Bucky tried to neutralize his expression as he stared at her. He knew she couldn't be happy he was back. He still remembered the things she had said to him. What was she going to say this time?

Cara walked towards the cupboard she was referring to and started scooping the coffee into the filter.

Bucky stared at her, unsure what to say.

"She missed you while you were gone." Cara said softly. "It nearly tore her apart."

It had nearly torn him apart too. "I-"

"I'm sorry." Cara said finally looking at him.

Bucky looked at her confused.

"I never should have said those things to you. I had no idea-" She cut herself off. Bucky looked at her. She sounded... soft, different from the unyielding woman he had met a few days ago. "I had no idea what you meant to her; what you meant to each other." Cara look down at the coffee pot and started the brew. "I was wrong. It's like you're a part of each other. I didn't realize a part of her would leave if you did."

The confession surprised Bucky and he wasn't sure what to say. He was quiet for a moment, nothing but the sound of the coffee pot between the two of them. "I understand." He finally said softly. "In some ways you were right. I loved her but I needed to figure out how to forgive myself before I could really give her the love she deserved. I think leaving helped me find it." Bucky looked at Cara. "I promise I'll protect her and love her the way she deserves it."

Cara looked at him, "If you're still anything like the man her grandfather knew, I know you will."

*****

~Erin~

Erin woke up the next morning to the feeling of someone else's hand in hers. After Bucky had fallen asleep against her shoulder, she gently led him over to the couch and placed a blanket around him. She had taken the couch next to it and fallen asleep soon after.

Erin blinked open her eyes to find Bucky crouched in front of her face. He had taken her hand and was rubbing circles on the back of it. He smiled at her. It was a soft, peaceful smile that made Erin's heart soar. "Is it time to get up?" She asked quietly reaching one hand to stroke Bucky's dark hair.