Anamnesis [Lacuna #2] {Completed}

Chapter Six

"Natsukashii (adj.) suddenly, euphorically nostalgic; triggered by experiencing something for the first time in years"

~Erin~

Erin watched Bucky scan the streets of his home, eyes darting back and forth from building to building. "The streets are familiar, but nothing is the same." He said without looking at her.

The morning had been much like yesterday. Bucky was up before Erin. She found him eating an apple and toast in their small kitchen. Beyond hellos and good mornings, they were both quiet.

Erin wished she knew how to break this foreign tension between the two of them. She wished she had never thought of that stupid letter. She wished yesterday had never happened.

It was cold enough that they risked taking the subway into the city. Erin felt a little better after they made it without incident yesterday. They both wore hats and sunglasses, Erin in her red beanie and Bucky in a black baseball cap, hopefully not looking too conspicuous.

The subway was crowded, but Erin supposed it was a good thing. The more people the more cover they had. If anyone were to come looking for them it would be like looking for a needle in a haystack.

They made their way back to the ally where Bucky had remembered something yesterday. All Erin could do was patiently wait as Bucky worked through whatever was going on inside of his mind.

He concentrated on the building and the streets signs, but the more he looked, the more Erin could tell frustration was creeping through his skin. "Ragh!" Bucky yelled throwing his hat off  and running his fingers through his hair. "This isn't working." He looked at Erin annoyance written all over his face. "We're just wasting time!"

Erin couldn't shake her own frustration. She felt stuck. Both her and Bucky were frustrated, but neither of them wanted the other to know. They weren't exactly upset with each other, but there was something standing between them, not exactly a wall, but like an annoying blanket. She could make out Bucky's silhouette, but she couldn't see him clearly anymore.

She had an idea. Erin took a breath and walked over to Bucky. She picked up his hat and handed it to him. He took it and set it back on top of his head, but his lips were still set in a tight line as he hooked his fingers around the back of his neck. Erin gently pried his frustrated hands free and placed them in her own. "Buck," She said. He looked at her, his blue eyes clouded with worry and anger. You're trying too hard. She wanted to say. But she knew that would shut him off and nothing would come of it. "Close your eyes." She commanded.

He looked at her strangly.

"Oh come on," she teased a half smile, "Are you ever going to trust me?"

Something flashed behind his eyes. Erin had meant it as a joke, but suddenly it was as if she had just become aware of what she was asking of him.

Still, he complied and shut his eyes, but his face was still scrunched together. "What do you hear?" She asked him.

Bucky paused before answering, "Car horns, people talking," He paused taking a breath and relaxing his face, "There's just... so much noise. It's hard to make out details."

"I want you do drown out the voices." Erin said, "Drown out everything you hear, then reach for something familiar. Swim through all the noise and static and grasp onto the first thing you feel is familiar. It's okay if it takes time, just... drown out everything."

Erin savored the sensation of his rough warm hands in hers. She closed her eyes too and expanded her senses, keenly aware of that familiar pull in her gut. She could feel tiny static shocks going in and out of wires, the radio in the car parked next to them, lights from shops across the street.