Anamnesis [Lacuna #2] {Completed}

Chapter Twenty Six

"Termerate (v.) to break a bond or binding promise"

~Erin~

"Look up Elizabeth Alice McCall. Born August 23, 1954. Maiden name Montgomery." She said to the translucent screen.

            Her mother's profile popped onto the display before her. Erin studied the hard expression she wore in her soldier's picture. Her face was stoic, the face of a soldier trained to hide every emotion.

            She came across a few encrypted files. She remembered Natasha had leaked all of the S.H.I.E.L.D. and HYDRA information on the Internet that day at the Triskelion. Erin saved the files onto her father's desktop to decode later.

"Cross reference special intelligence and KGB-"

"You won't find what you're looking for in there." Cara voice said from behind her.

Erin whipped her head around the see Cara standing in the doorway. Her foot hadn't crossed the threshold, I silent question for Erin to answer. They hadn't spoken since Erin had returned from coffee with Tony. She hadn't been sure what there was to say.

"How do you know what I'm looking for?" Erin asked, still staring at her.

Cara's onyx eyes studied her for a moment. "I've known you your whole life," she began quietly, "And I couldn't see it." Her voice was quiet. "I'm sorry Erin. I had no idea what he meant to you."

            Erin stared at her for a moment. Erin knew why Cara had done it and a part of her was still angry but... it wasn't her fault entirely. Erin softened her voice when she spoke. "You didn't make him leave, Cara. He chose to go. That's something he hasn't had it a long time." Erin said, "I don't know what his reasons are. Maybe he is trying to protect me, but I think whatever he needs to do, whatever it's about... it's bigger than me."

"Erin..." Cara took a hesitant step into the room. When Erin didn't protest she walked closer to the desk Erin was sitting at. "Help me- help me understand what it is about him. What is he to you?"

            Erin thought for a moment. Bucky was... Bucky was everything.

            "He's..." How could she possibly put it into words? How could she explain what he had done for her, and her for him. How could she explain what bonded them? "Do you remember when dad used to take me star gazing and I would tell you all about the constellations he pointed out?"

Cara nodded her head, "I remember."

"I remember once, it was just after the daylight savings and dad said all of my favorite constellations would be in a different place now. I was so excited to rediscover them, I couldn't wait for it to get dark." Erin smiled to herself at the memory. "But as the sun started to go down the stars weren't out. Dad thought maybe they were just covered by clouds and would appear once we got to our favorite spot. When we got there, the stars still weren't there even though it was pitch black outside. I was so disappointed. My dad though, he wasn't. There was one star out that night, only one. 'That's the North Star' he said to me. 'No matter where you're at it will always be in the same place. As long as you can see that star, you can find your way home.'"

Cara looked at her intently, taking in every word Erin spoke.

"For so long," Erin continued, "I was lost in a black night. There were no stars in the sky, not one." Erin's throat tightened, "Then I met Bucky. For the first time-" She swallowed the lump in her throat. "He became my single light in the darkness; my North Star. That's what Bucky is to me." She said as if realizing it for the first time. "He's my way home."