Anamnesis [Lacuna #2] {Completed}

Chapter Sixteen

"Tacenda (n.) Things better left unsaid; matters to be passed over in silence."

~Bucky~

Images and the sound of whispered words flickered in Bucky's mind.

            Red Room. Wolf Spider. Espionage. Mission report. Assassin.

He was standing in a room. A row of young men and women stood before him.

            A man walked in front of the line, examining each one. To an onlooker, the man looked no more than 25 at the oldest. Bucky knew him, but he couldn't remember how.

Another image flashed. He was sparing with someone, a woman, maybe in her middle 30s. He had bested her. She had short dark hair and eerily familiar brown eyes.

Again. A harsh voice commanded, thick with traces of a Russian accent.

That's when he started to remember.

This was the work of the KGB.

            The scene changed. He was being prepared for the cryo chamber. His hands were still sticky with blood from his latest mission.

He heard Zola's voice from far off, talking to someone else in the room. Thank you for your designs, they have been most helpful. He said.

            Bucky heard a reply, but couldn't hear what the voice had said exactly, but it sounded... familiar, as if he had heard it a thousand times before.

            The last thing he could think about before the coldness took over was how much sadness there was hidden behind the anger in that familiar voice.

*****

The freezing water attacked and flooded all of Bucky's sense and jerked him into the present. All of the things he had just seen flew from his mind and the only thing that consumed his thoughts were keeping an iron grip on Erin's hand. He tried hard to kick his way to the surface, but the current of the Hudson River was strong. They were being swept away. Suddenly, a powerful swirling vortex of water crashed into them and Bucky lost his grip on Erin's hand.

He frantically tried to reach for her again, but the only thing he felt was open water. He started kicking to the surface, the current continually trying to pull him back under. He finally broke to the top gasping for air and coughing up water.

            "Erin!" He called out. He frantically turned around in the water, searching for her. "Erin!" He called again. He underestimated how far the current had swept them. The apartment building they had jumped from was just the side of his thumb in the distance.

            Bucky continued to turn in the water in a panic. What if the current had swept her under? There was no way he would be able to find her in the Hudson. For the first time in a long time, Bucky remembered what it was like to be truly afraid.

            He dove down into the water again, reaching blindly. He kicked and he searched, trying to grasp for anything that might be her.

Then his hand felt something. It was the sleeve of a cotton jacket. He tugged on it and hauled the body to the surface. When they broke over the top of the water, Erin's eyes were closed and she wasn't moving.

            "No, no, no, no, no." Bucky panicked still frantically looking around. He started swimming his way to the nearest dock, pulling Erin with him limp in his arms. As he swam he tried to feel for a heartbeat, anything that would give Bucky a little relief to know she was still alive, but it only made his panic grow worse when he couldn't find anything.