Anamnesis [Lacuna #2] {Completed}

Epilogue

"Cicatrize (v.) to find healing in the process of forming scars"

~Erin~

Erin stood in front of the large stone. In it was carved this inscription:

James Buchanan Barnes

1917-1945

Beloved brother, son, friend and War Hero

Erin had wanted to take Bucky to the cemetery he was "buried" in but they had to flee New York before she had gotten the chance.

"It's strange." Bucky said next to her staring down at his own grave. "I haven't been here since visiting my parents' graves with Rebecca. It's a lot bigger and more crowded now." He said sadly. He turned his head to read the stone next to his:

Rebecca Barnes Bergman

1925 - 2008

Beloved wife, sister, and mother

Next to her, her husband Joseph and his family were buried nearby.

Bucky set the flowers he had brought next to Rebecca's grave. "I'm sorry Becca." He said to the grave, his voice beginning to break. "I should have been here." He put his head down and knelt there for a while. Erin didn't want to disturb him until she saw his shoulders gently shaking. She knelt next to him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. She let him cry in silence and held him as he let out emotions he had held in for 70 years.

She cried with him. Silent tears and sobs escaped from her own eyes. They both needed this; they needed each other. They were two completely broken people trying to be okay together.

When his tears ceased, he looked up at Erin with red puffy eyes. He took her hand and intertwined their fingers. "Thank you." He said softly to her.

Erin nodded her head, "I wish I could have met her." Erin admitted looking at Rebecca's headstone.

"She would have loved you." Bucky smiled. "She would have loved you just because I did." He smiled weakly at her and looked over at Matty's grave.

Erin turned to the stones that marked her own family's graves. Her grandfather, grandmother, father, mother, and brother, they were all buried here in New York next to Bucky's family.

"I can't believe Matty wanted to be buried next to us." Bucky said softly.

"Both him and my grandmother felt this was where they belonged." Erin said. "I didn't understand when I was little, but I do now." She rested her head against Bucky's shoulder. "I don't know where Cara will be buried." She said softly. "I don't even know if she had other family."

"When this is all over, we can make sure to give her the remembrance she deserves." Bucky said. "For now, all we can do is honor her by figuring out what's going on and maybe getting rid of Volkov if we can."

Erin nodded wordlessly. "I never came here. The funerals were always held in D.C. and then they were transported here. I never went because my parents never thought I needed to be here. After losing my mom I didn't want to. Seeing them all at once... it would have been too much." She whispered. "You would think after losing so many people, it would hurt less than this."

"Scars never really stop hurting." Erin turned to look at Bucky. His blue eyes were soft and caring. Erin knew he truly understood the pain she was going through and that in and of itself gave her comfort.

They stat there in silence for a while, the weight of everything they had both lost standing in front of them. Erin looked over at Jamie's grave. She knew she would never see him smile again. She would never hear his laugh or receive one of his comforting hugs. She would never get to watch him fall in love or become an aunt to his children. She would never be able to introduce Bucky to him and tell him how much she loved him. She would never get to dance with her father at her wedding or continue helping him with his research. She'd never be able to talk with her mother or get her advice. Erin realized she hadn't truly accepted the loss of all these things until now. One by one, she let them all go and little by little, she felt the weight lift off of her shoulders.

She wondered what Bucky was letting go by being here. Had he completely let go of his past and what he had been? Has he forgiven himself for living when almost everyone else was gone? Did he still see himself as a weapon?

Something in his attitude and posture told Erin that he was beginning to forgive himself. Maybe not for everything, but he was getting there. Maybe he never would. She didn't know. She only knew that she wanted to be there to help him through that if she could.

"It feels good to let go." Bucky said after a while. He looked at her and she smiled at him. Together they stood up and said their silent goodbyes to both their families.

"It's hard, but I agree." Erin smiled at him. "Wong should be here to portal us back soon. Are you ready?"

"No." Bucky admitted still looking around the graveyard. "But I believe in us, in this." He turned and smiled at her. He grabbed her hand and kissed it.

A circle of sparks appeared before them. Wong and his portal appeared, ready to take them back to the Sanctum.

They both took one more look back at the graves of their families. Together Bucky and Erin walked forward into the portal and into their futures.

"She loved him with a messy heart

He hugged her with fragile bones

She touched him with scarred hands

He kissed her with bruised lips

They whispered all their flaws

And inhaled the storm together."

-Randy Mascorro

*****

THAT'S IT FOR ANAMNESIS FOLKS!!!

I just want to thank you guys SO FREAKIN MUCH for being so patient with this story. I know I left you hanging for a really long time and TBH I wasn't sure when or how I was going to end this, BUT thank you to everyone who stuck around to see how this story would play out.

I'm so excited to start the last part of Bucky and Erin's journey in my the third book!! It's going to tie up all the lose ends and hopeful end right before the Infinity War starts.

Again. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!! I love you guys and your comments and votes honestly make my day and ya'll are the sweetest I can't <3

LOVE YOU ALL AND LOOK OUT FOR ALPAS COMING SOON!!!

-xx Solo Soldier