Bungou Stray Dogs x Reader Oneshots

Dazai x Reader | Incomplete

Requested by Jessica_59

Hunbun, I hope, that you don't mind, that I decided to make it Dazai x Reader and I hope, that I did well☺️

Warning: depression, anxiety, angst, suicide mentions

~~~

You loved your home. You loved how cozy it was. You loved its warmth. The only thing you hated was its emptiness. You lived alone and loneliness was killing you every day. You hated coming home and seeing the empty house. You hated how nobody greeted you or could hug you, when you felt down. You hated loneliness, yet it has always followed you like a loyal dog follows its owner.

You couldn't stand the loneliness and the overwhelming thoughts no longer and that's why you were now walking down the streets of Yokohama. The moon was so bright, you thought it could blind you like the sun. No clouds could be seen. The sky was covered in bright stars.

You were walking down the street and you were thinking. What were you thinking about? Your life. When did it become and endless nightmare? When did everything went wrong? You didn't know. Life seemed to be normal, but something was missing. You lacked a very important part to become a completed happy human. You were so angry at destiny. Why did it have to make you incomplete unlike others?

It was about 2 a.m. Every shop and cafe was closed so all you could do was just wonder among the streets. The only place you could go was a park so you turned the corner and started going towards it.

You hated your anxiety. Yeah, you have already visited your psychiatrist and she diagnosed anxiety and depression. It was awful. The only problem you lacked was mental illness! Great!

You tried to keep your thoughts away from that to not make yourself worry, but you couldn't. You could feel how your palms started sweating and how your heart race increased. You knew, that you'd calm down soon. You had to. This feeling just came and went. You'd calm down soon. You just had to wait.

Finally, you came to the park. It was empty and dark, but you didn't care. You liked how the moon could be seen in the river's water. You liked this park. It was near your house and it often calmed you, when you were starting to feel anxious again.

Suddenly, you heard a strange noise coming from the river. You looked closer at the water and you saw two legs sticking out of it. You were thinking about helping that poor man, but then he bumped into the rock and because of the pain, his head lifted up from the water.

You were watching closely at that man. It wasn't because you were attracted by his face (but you couldn't deny, that he was handsome) or you wanted to help him. You were interested. Why did he tried to drown at such time, but he stopped just because of the pain? Wasn't that what he wanted? You even forgot about your depressive thoughts and anxiety!

You had to ask him.

You ran to him quickly before he could go away. Right now, he was trying to catch his breath, but it wouldn't take him a lot of time to go away, right?

"Excuse me, sir!" You called him

You approached him right in the moment, when he turned to you.

"Ah, what a beautiful lady I see!" He exclaimed

His eyes sparkled and a wide smile spread on his face.

"Can I ask you, why were you floating down the river?" You asked him

You didn't react on his words. You didn't want a stranger to know your feelings.

"Well, I was trying to commit suicide!" The man exclaimed "Why are you asking? You want to commit it with me?"

He was now kneeling in front of you with your hand in his larger ones. Your cheeks got pink a bit, but you didn't change the look on your face.

"Eh....I just wanted to ask you why did you stop, when you hit the rock? Didn't you want to die?" You asked

"I like suicide, but not pain!" He answered

"How is it even possible to commit suicide without feeling any pain?" You asked

"This is what I'm trying to find out!"

His fingers were caressing your palm. It calmed you, yet you started getting nervous again. What if he was just laughing at you by calling you "beautiful" and asking you to commit suicide with him? What if he was just mocking at you? Who could like you? You couldn't even imagine, that someone could like you, not speaking about love. You were afraid, that he would laugh at you and leave you all alone and broken just like many others before.

That's why you didn't want to show your emotions.

"My beautiful lady, are you afraid?" He asked you standing up

"W-What? Of course, I'm not!" You answered

"But I feel how your hand is shaking a bit. Am I really that scary?" He asked

You looked away. You couldn't look him in the eyes. You were afraid. "Don't let him get close." You thought "Don't let him get close! Don't let him get close! Don't let him..."

"What's with you?" He asked you "You're so pale and cold."

"I'm fine." You answered

You pulled your hand away from his hands. You didn't really know the reason of your nervousness right now. This was the thing about anxiety: you were afraid. You didn't have the reason to fear, but you were afraid.

"I'm sorry, I have to go." You told him quickly "Sorry for disturbing."

You were about to go, but you suddenly felt a firm grip on your wrist.

"Please, don't go." He asked you softly "My job is to help people and I see, that you need help. I don't know exactly what to do, but I see, that you need it. Please, let me help you."

"Why do you worry about me so much all of a sudden?" You asked

You turned to him and you saw, that he was smiling at you softly

"Because incomplete people need to help each other." He answered "Don't you think so?"

Your eyes widened.

"H-How...did y-you....?" You tried to ask

The man offered you his hand

"Follow me." He smiled "I'll tell you how to know some facts about people without asking them about it."

You hesitated, but eventually you took his hand and you two started going somewhere.

"Oh I'm so sorry! I forgot to introduce myself!" He exclaimed "My name is Dazai. Dazai Osamu."

~~~

A/N: WHY DO MY STORIES HAVE SUCH STRANGE PLOTS??? WHY AM I SO WEIRD??