Bungou Stray Dogs x Reader Oneshots

Chuuya x Reader | I Love You Too Much To Care

Requested by Candy8792

I hope, that this is what you wanted^^

Warning: schizophrenia, angst

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Clinking of shoes sounded so loud in the silence. The house, Chuuya was in wasn't empty, though. Soon the clinking stopped because he had to take off the shoes to go further. Once he did, he passed near the kitchen and the living room and went upstairs. He didn't say a word, while doing this.

"Chuuya? Is that you?" A familiar voice called him

A soft smile appeared on his lips as he heard it. He started walking quicker to approach the room, where that voice came from. He took a deep breath before entering.

"Hello, (Y/N)." He said softly as he entered

Right in from of him, there was a girl, who sat on a large bed with a laptop in front of her. She smiled warmly, when she saw him

"Chuuya!" She exclaimed

In an instant, she got up from her bed and ran towards him.

"I missed you so much!" She said as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and hugged her tightly, nuzzling his nose in the crook of her neck.

"I missed you too." He said

"Please, warn me, that you are going to come next time, ok?" She asked "Yeah, you have keys from my house, but you scare me, when you enter out of the blue."

"I'm sorry. I just didn't have time to call you." He answered smiling widely

"You don't have to visit me every day, you know." She said pulling back a little

She walked to the bed and sat on it again, waiting for Chuuya to seat near her

"I miss you too much so I can't help myself." He answered sitting close to her

Suddenly, her face became serious.

"I really do think, that you should start visiting me less often..." She said, while looking at the floor.

He looked at the place, where she was staring, but....he saw nothing there.

"Why's that?" He asked looking at her again

"You know why." She said "I don't want you to spend so much time on a person like me."

"I don't want to speak about it." He replied stiffly looking away from her face

"No, Chuuya, we have to discuss it." She repeated

"What do we have to discuss? That you don't want to see me?" He asked

Her face looked hurt and her eyes started to tear up a little from his words, but she continued.

"You know, that it's not true." She said "I don't want you to waste your life with me. You could have a normal girlfriend now if you weren't here with me. You can start a whole new life, but you can't start it with me. I'm not able to give you happiness you want and deserve."

"I don't want that." He answered "I want to be with you."

"Chuuya, you'll waste all your life on me!" She exclaimed "You won't be able to feel safe with me, you won't be able to have a normal family life with me and you won't be able to have kids with me! I know, that you've always wanted to have kids one day... you told me it before that happened."

"I don't care about this all." He repeated "I love you and nobody else. And..."

He was saying something else, but she couldn't hear him clearly anymore. They distracted her with their whispers.

"He's lying...don't listen...listen to us...we'll give you a salvation from this world....free us...free us...we are locked in your body...freedom..."

"(Y/N)!"

She even jumped on the bed because of the unexpectedness

"What? Why did you have to scare me?!" She asked

"I noticed , that you weren't listening to me." Chuuya explained

He took her arm and intertwined their fingers.

"Did you...hear something again?" He asked softly

She didn't want to reply so she just nodded slightly. She hated such questions most of all.

"Do you still hear them?" He asked again

"No." She replied stiffly

"Did you take your medicine?" He asked

"Not yet." She answered

Chuuya stood up and went to grab 2 small bottles of pills and a bottle of water, while (Y/N) was just sitting on the bed lifeless. She was tired from this: from taking medicine, from hearing voices, from seeing something...she was so tired.

Chuuya handed her all this and once she took her medicine, she said

"This is the reason why you should visit me less often. This is why that happened."

"What do you mean by "that"? You keep saying it, but I don't know what you mean." Chuuya asked

"Remember, when I was still in the Mafia, I killed 3 and hurt 7 of my subordinates, who were in my office in that moment? It happened because of what has just happened now: I heard them. They told me to do this."

Tears started rolling down her cheeks

"This is why I'll never be able to be happy. They won't let me. And you'll never have kids with me because it would be too dangerous. I can harm even you because I can't always control myself. Yeah, I was hospitalized, but I feel, that I need a therapy again. They have returned."

She was crying her eyes out now, but all Chuuya could do was just wrap his arms around her and press her close to his chest. He was stroking her back and whispering sweet nothings in her ear.

He knew, that she was right. He knew all that, but he could help himself. He knew, that she won't be able to get rid of them and be healthy mentally again. He knew, that it would be dangerous to live with her.

But he loved her too much to care

If she'd once hear them again and loose control over her body, he wouldn't mind to be killed by her. Maybe he wasn't the sanest person in that room, if he had such thoughts.