Bungou Stray Dogs x Reader Oneshots

Fyodor x Reader | To Live Inside Your Head

FINALLY I HAVE THE ADVANTAGE BECAUSE I KNOW RUSSIAN

Ok, so I got inspired because of one Russian song "To Live Inside Your Head" (Жить В Твоей Голове) by Zemfira so I'll put the lyrics in both Russian and English and I recommend you to listen to the song^^ I don't think, that you'll like it, though

Warning: OOC (I swear, I tried not to do this, but still T^T)

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Жить в твоей голове.
И любить тебя неоправданно, отчаянно.
To live in your head.
And to love you unjustifiedly, desperately.

I remember how you always loved this song. I had no idea what it was about, though. I understood the lyrics, but the meaning was unknown to me. "To Live Inside Your Head". What a funny name, isn't it? You always used to hum it, while you were doing something: washing the dishes, cooking, making the bed and etc. Thanks to you, I learned it too.

Who knew, that it'll become my favorite song?

Жить в твоей голове.
И убить тебя неосознанно, нечаянно.
To live in your head.
And to kill you unconsciously, unintentionally.

It was amazing, that you loved me. Even though some people called me a monster and tyrant, you still loved me. Probably, that's why I never wanted you to know about my plan to kill all the ability users. I was afraid, that you'll be scared of me. You were an ability user yourself. Isn't it amusing how someone, who I was supposed to kill became the one I wanted to protect? My plan, God, even the whole world became unimportant and forgotten, when you smiled. I don't know why.

И слушали тихий океан.
И видели города.
And we were listening to the quiet ocean.
And we saw the cities.

No one knew this side for me. No one, except for you. You were different. I clearly remember how we met. I was on the pierce looking at the ocean and you came to me and asked how to get somewhere because you were lost. You weren't afraid to talk to me like everyone else. You were different. I even decided to walk with you a bit because I liked talking with someone, who didn't see a beast in me. I was thankful to you for that. (Y/N), you showed me, that there was a different side of life. Thank you.

И верили в вечную любовь.
И думали: "Навсегда".
And we believed in eternal love.
And we thought it's: ''Forever''.

When the war began, I knew, that it would be hard to keep my secrets. You couldn't look through me, but you could sense, that something was wrong. This war continued and I started seeing you less often, than usual. Now, I understand how stupid I was. No religion, no power can bring you back to me again. I understood it too late...

Жить в твоей голове.
И любить тебя неоправданно, отчаянно.
To live in your head.
And to love you unjustifiedly, desperately.

No matter what happened, you always stayed with me. Even if I came to you at 12 p.m. or weren't seeing you for a whole week, you still stayed with me. You would just smile at me and ask me how was my day and I would just smile softly and call you "глупышка". (it means "silly" but in a loving sense) I felt at ease with you. You were my peace. You showed me the beauty of the civilian life.

Жить в твоей голове.
И убить тебя неосознанно, нечаянно.
To live in your head.
And to kill you unconsciously, unintentionally.

Who could predict that? Even I didn't knew, that such thing could happen. You were always something...permanent for me. You were with me. Always. And I always thought, that it'd continue being like this. Life is such an unpredictable thing...

Запутались в полной темноте.
Включили свои огни.
We entangled in the complete darkness.
We turned on our lights.

When I found out, that you got hit by a car I didn't believe it. I thought, that I just misheard it. But it was true. You had way too many injuries because the car was driving too fast. Doctors said, that death was almost immediate. You died. Nothing can bring you back to life. Nothing. I'm not that smart as everyone thinks. I'm stupid. I realized everything too late. Your death opened my eyes. This stupid war...my stupid plan...why? So pointless...No one supports me now. Basically, you were the only one I had, but...I'm alone now.

Обрушились небом в комнате.
Остались совсем одни.
We collapsed like the sky in the room.
We remained completely alone.

I never told you those words. I never told you what I really felt. To be honest, I still think, that you knew. You knew me. You knew all those words I wanted to say, but didn't dare. (Y/N), you were my happiness, you loved me. Everyone now just seems to forget, that I'm a human too. I have emotions. I have feelings. I have memories. No one knows my real story and my reasons, yet everyone keeps judging me.

Жить в твоей голове.
И любить тебя неоправданно, отчаянно.
To live in your head.
And to love you unjustifiedly, desperately.

That song, that you used to sing so often is now all that's left to me in the memory of you. I hum it sometimes, when no one can hear it. I understand it now because you live inside my head. It's the only place, where you're still alive. In my memories, you're still waiting for me at home and asking me how was my day. You're still alive there.

И убить тебя неосознанно, нечаянно.
Неосознанно. Нечаянно.
And to kill you unconsciously, unintentionally.
Unconsciously, unintentionally.

You're still alive in my head. In my mind, we're still together, but in reality the pain is killing me. Of course, I don't let anyone notice this, but I still feel hurt. I still love you. Finally, I got the courage to say these words. Why did it have to be so late?

Неосознанно. Нечаянно.
Unconsciously, unintentionally.

~~~

Oh crap, I spoiled it completely T^T