Left beaten, bloodied and bruised in a ditch somewhere, @MadMikeMarsbergen lost the Pot 1 Finals of SmackDown: The Second Coming to @torontojim (who later ended up winning the Grand Finals, too). Now he's back to get some revenge on all you competit...
Mike stared up at the smooth granite wall. The ancient script was carved deep into the stone with perfect razor sharp edges. It could have been cut yesterday, but this temple had been sealed over 4000 years ago. He read the text again in disbelief... im-friggin-possible.
He squeezed his eyes shut and tensed his jaw as Octavius' thick tentacle slashed across his face. Mike hit the floor and the ropes binding his hands behind him cut into his wrists painfully. Rikstaffer leaned down and smiled crookedly waving Octavius away.
"Last chance Michael, tell us what it says. Now!" Spit squirted from between his crooked yellow teeth landing on the end of Mike's nose.
After wiping his nose on the shoulder of his khaki shirt, Mike stared up into Rikstaffer's wrinkled green face and sighed dejectedly.
"Fine Rik, I give up, it say's... 'Go fuck yerself!'" As the last syllable hung in the air MadMike Marsbergen rolled to his left and deftly kicked Rikstaffer in three of his six reptilian balls. Then lunged forward and head butted Octavius who fell backwards into the fire pit. The huge Ichthyolian's body was 99.6 percent water and so with a splash and a sizzle the temple was plunged into darkness.
Through shear act of will MadMike broke the ropes freeing his arms and tried to remember the way out. He could hear the wet slurping of Octavius' body reconstituting itself and off to his right Rikstaffer was weeping as he tried to insert his testicles back into their leathery pouch. Mike was running out of time.
The darkness was complete and pressed down upon him as he tried to retrace his steps in his mind's eye. But wait, as Mikes eyes adjusted he could make out a tiny line of light. It was coming from the wall of text, a small crack beckoning him forward. Mike stumbled to the wall and placed his hands on either side of the crack and pushed. Nothing happened. He planted his feet and heaved with all his might!
With a gravely scraping of stone on stone the blocks moved, slowly at first and then gliding with ease. One final push and an opening appeared.
Mike covered his eyes against the bluish glow of the metal walls in the hidden chamber. It was like nothing he had ever seen before. Strange hieroglyphs covered every surface and at its centre was a Throne around which were levers, switches and buttons... im-friggin-possible!
A gurgling sucking sound told him that Octavius was back in one piece and Rik had finally stopped weeping. His time was up!
Mike jumped onto the Throne and started pulling levers and hitting buttons like the mad man he was. Octavius and Rik burst through the opening and lunged for him just as the fusion jets fired, roasting them both on a pillar of flame. The top of the temple opened and the Throne rocketed out into space with MadMike screaming at the top of his lungs! YeeeeeeHaaaaaaaaaaa!
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