Left beaten, bloodied and bruised in a ditch somewhere, @MadMikeMarsbergen lost the Pot 1 Finals of SmackDown: The Second Coming to @torontojim (who later ended up winning the Grand Finals, too). Now he's back to get some revenge on all you competit...
It's been a long time coming, and we've seen our share of dropouts, sadly. But SmackDown: MadMike's Revenge is about to come to an end! We shall see who out of our Final Two—bloodsword and Reffster—is about to become the Sole SmackDowner.
Everything is as it should be. 4,000 words. Image used effectively.
2. Spelling, Grammar and Punctuation - 3/5
More than a few missing hyphens.
3. Story Enjoyability - 4/5
Great description, and lots of world-building and action in such a small amount of words. I would've liked to know more about Imrulan, the main character.
4 FOR ENJOYABILITY: I can't actually give too much criticism here, and the 4 is probably due to the fact I'm a hard-ass (almost as hard as your sci-fi) and don't like saying things are "perfect." Alright, after some musing, I've decided that the characterisation isn't as detailed as it could be. Not the description of the characters, no, but rather more the personality of the main character. While I think it's very clear an effort has been made to make this story as concise as possible (which is great) it wouldn't hurt to expand a little on the character's mind and past.
5 FOR PROMPT: Not like it's easy to deviate from this one, though
3 FOR GRAMMAR
3 FOR ENJOYABILITY: I feel kinda rude for giving it a 3. It was funny at times, and wasn't a complete chore to read or anything, but some scenes seemed to drag a little. I know the back-and-forth dialogue is a style, I just think that actual scenes with actual description might have complemented the funny lines in the dialogue much better, as well as added more opportunities for laughs. Also, it was kinda sad to see this story didn't really go anywhere... It rambled from scene to scene, making small connections but never really had a sense of plot or any sort of pacing or crisis. All there is is humour, which despite having some fantastic lines, couldn't quite hold the story together.
