SmackDown: MadMike's Revenge!

Round 1, Team 5: Going Viral - @bloodsword

Going Viral

by bloodsword

"I don't believe this shit," the man mumbled to his computer monitor. He took a sip of his extra-large Watty and grimaced in disgust. Picked a stray orange pube from his tongue. "They didn't even read my fuckin' story! The fuck is this comment supposed to mean, anyway!? 'Loved the way Pixy Dust rode Unicron LOL!' There wasn't any Pixy Dust or Unicron in my fucking story, nor was there anything remotely funny in it! What the hell are you LOLing at, you dumbass!?"

He rubbed his temples, leaving orange Cheetos dust behind. His head killed right now. Had been hurting a lot lately, but this took the cake. Nobody understood his beautiful writing. Their comments were irrelevant. It made him sick. Made him want to teach them all a lesson.

A grin worked its way across his pale face.

Yeah. Teach 'em all. A lesson.

The man brought up the profile of the latest imbecile to comment on his riveting story. Got a good look. Memorized the name and the face.

He went to his gun rack. Grabbed his finest and most powerful weapon. Locked it and loaded it.

The hunt was on.

"Damnit!" he barked, throwing the report onto the desk to stare hard at the holographic recording playing an inch or two above it. "That's the fifth one this week!" He lifted steel grey eyes to send a hard stare stabbing towards the two Wattpad Corp Security agents in front of him, the lines of their dark grey suits broken only by the stylized orange 'W' over their left breasts.

"I thought you said you could contain this."

"It is contained, captain," the agent on the left assured him, the lisp that he spoke with making him sound like Mike Tyson. "All assets in the field have been issued the appropriate counter-agents in our efforts to make sure this doesn't move out of the core."

"Hate to doom and gloom your optimism there with a shit ton of reality, but it's already moved out of the core!" the captain snapped in reply before pointing a finger at the screen, now frozen on the image of the writer pulling out and loading his weapon. "This frickin' numpty is nearly three city blocks outside of your quarantine perimeter!"

For a brief second he considered hitting the alert button on the corner of his desk to trigger a city-wide lockdown. Instead the captain kept speaking.

"This cyber virus is throwing the city into utter chaos. If we don't get a handle on it, blood will run like rivers through the streets." The stiffened finger came up to take in the two agents. "Wattpad Corp promised stability when they were granted hub status for all forms of social media by the government. Instead we have disorder on an epic scale as a cyber virus spawned in your servers is driving not only writers, but all kinds of users from multiple walks of life, into homicidal rages. Do I need to call in the Feds to shut your network down?"

Both agents quickly held up their hands.

"That won't be necessary, captain," the one with the lisp said.

"We have our best people on it," the other one hastily added. "Once our software engineers disassemble the virus's code, we'll be able to send out a cyber antibiotic and purge it from the network. Then a neural reset will undo the cerebral tangling the virus is doing to anybody that subconsciously sees it's embedded trigger pattern."