The Bad Boy Next Door

20: I'm so sorry

   I looked at Adam and sighed. "Before I lived in New York I lived in Florida. I had this boyfriend named Logan. He was super sweet, and I thought he loved he, but that was before he learned that my dad was in a gang, I didn't know at the time. This was before my dad had died, and I still hadn't learned about Parker but some how Logan had. He figured out that Parker was eventually gonna take over the gang, and me being his sister, he was gonna want me in said gang." I said taking a deep breath. "Logan was a control freak and he was very possessive, especially when it came to me, he didn't want me to take control over anything."

   Adam grabbed my hand and squeezed it gently. "He Thought it would be easier to just get rid of me then have me one day have a significant amount of power over him because of the gang, so he attacked me. He tried to choke me and I stopped breathing but I was able to be brought back kind of like you. I stayed a few weeks in the hospital, and when I got out my mom decided we needed to move while Logan was in jail. When we got to New York I thought I was safe, that I had nothing to worry about. So I made best friends with Kayla, and a guy named Alex." I let out a sma smile.

   "I never thought I would see Logan again so I fell for Alex. I loved him so much. I honestly thought we would be together forever. I didn't know he was in a gang with Parker, and I continued to not know even after my father died. When my father died I felt like I lost everything. I became depressed and I was in a deep hole, but Alex was there to help me pull my way out." More tears streamed down my face and I hiccuped. "I didn't know Logan made it out of jail, or that he was looking for me. So imagine my supprise when I came home from school one day with Alex to see him on the couch with a loaded gun in his hand."

   I stopped for a minute trying to wipe away some of the tears that had fallen. "He raised the gun at me, and Alex didn't see him at first, but when he did he pushed me out of the way. Adam-" I chocked on my words and let out a sob. Adam just sat there quietly, wiping tears off my face, waiting for me to continue. "Logan, H-He shot him. Emptied the entire gun into Alex. That was supposed to me me. He was supposed to shoot me. I ran. I locked myself in the basement and called nine one one. I made my way out of the base ment and went back to see Alex. I knew Logan was still in the house but I had to see him." I cried.

   "I sat there next to Alex's dead body crying and trying to wake him up. I knew he wasn't going to but I tried to wake him up. I was telling him I loved him, and that I was sorry. And that I wanted him back, but I knew that wasn't going to happen." I sobbed. "Logan found me and beat me with the gun he killed Alex with. I felt like I deserved it. I wish it was me who got all those bullets, me who died. Not Alex. I got my stupid heart involved with someone's life tmand they died." I said.

   "Logan beat me so bad, I can remember every his to the head, every time the pistol drove into my body, I can feel the pain he caused. Not only my pain but I feel Alex's pain. When the police got there they had to tear me off of Alex, I just couldn't let go. He was so cold in my hands, and he was so pale. There was blood all over me, and all over the house. I can hear the gun shots, I-I can see the satisfied look on Logan face because he hurt me bad. The one thing I heard from all the ringing going on in my ears is Logan saying 'You're next' and I believe him."

   "The dream I had the other night was about you. Logan was there and he shot you. I had to watch you die in my arms. I can't sit here and let myself be the reason you die. Adam, I-I'm falling for you. I hate to say that because you are so amazing. You've taught me so much about myself and I'm so upset to say this but I can't sit here an wait for Logan to get out of jail and come kill you too. I'm breaking my own heart, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry you have to heat me say this, I'm so sorry that I put you in a dangerous position, I'm so sorry that I lied. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, and that I didn't trust you enough to tell you, and that I'm having to leave you. I never wanted us to work out this way but when he comes back I'm not let I'm ting you die for me like Alex did." I continued to sob. I was shaking and I couldn't look at Adam. "My heart hurts so bad, and I'm afraid that I might never be able to live anyone ever again. But just know that me beginning to fall for you was one of the best things that could've ever hapoened to me. And in the time over been here you have no idea what you've helped me through. I just can't let my demons be the reason you die."

   "I want you to do what you said you wanted to, I want you to go. Leave the town and get yourself safe from me. Please don't stay here. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if you got hurt." I said sobbing. I couldn't look at him. Not after I put everything out there.

   "No." He said. "I'm not letting you break yourself to keep me safe. Clarity, I'm not falling, I've fallen. And that's not something I ever thought I'd say but it's true. I'm in love with you, and I have been for a while. I understand that you want me safe but hurting yourself for me isn't the answer either. Babe, I know you don't want him to hurt me, but if it comes down to it I'll do it over and over again. That's what you do for the person you love. That's why Alex did it for you. He wanted to protect you, and that's what I want to do. I'm not leaving now, not after hearing that. You know why I wanted to leave in the first place, after my dad went to prison. I never realized that I loved you at the time."

   "My mom and my little brother Tommy were everything to me. But I got mad at my father last night and left the house to go on a walk. I got lost and my father was drunk so he couldn't come get me. My mom took my little brother and came to find me. It was dark and storming, and a tree fell in front of them on the road, the swerved in front of a bridge and they drove right off." I saw a tear leaving his eye. "It's all my fault that they're dead. If I hadn't had left the house they would still be alive, and if my drunk father would've been sober it would've been him dead. But that's in the past now. I'm not leaving, and you can't scare me away, and neither can Logan." He said then pulled me to him and hugged me. I Hugged him back and I cried while he let a few of his own tears fall.

   After a while of hugging me and Adam went back into his room. He sat down and I sat next to him, he turned to me and slid a hand to the back of my neck. I looked from his eyes to his lips and back again.

   Then he quickly closed the gap pressing his lips to mine. His lips were soft and warm and they fit perfectly with mine. I climbed over his lap so I was strattling him. I placed my hands on the side of his face while his slid down to my butt and he held me.

   He licked my bottem lip asking for entrance which I allowed. His tounge explored my mouth and vice versa. I let out a small moan when he squeezed my but. My hands lifted his shirt over his head. My hands entangled themselves in his hair and he layed us so he was on his back and I was on his chest, my legs by his sides. He flipped us over so he was hovering in between my legs and he was resting on his arms. He continued to kiss me as one of his hands snaked down and rubbed making me moan and grip his hair.

   I pulled my shirt off and continued to kiss him. He started to kiss my neck where my sweet spot was and he rubbed me and I moaned really load receiving a groan from him. I ran my nails down his chest and he groaned again. He looked at me asking for an okay, and after I nodded he slid my shorts down. He kissed up my entire body giving me chills and making me moan.

   "Do you want to do this?" He asked me.

   "God yes, I've wanted to for so long."  I responded.

   He laughed slightly before pulling down him pants also and he groped my breast. "I love you." He said kissing me passionately.

   "I love you too." I said back. He rubbed me again which erupted in another moan. He kissed me again and I savored the moment.
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So I haven't written an authors note in a while. This chapter is longer then the rest so I hoped you liked it. I cried while writing the beginning, cuz I'm emotional. But anyway, I love you all. Bye bye ❤❤.