Shawn Mendes Imagines

Disappointment

Your P.O.V. 

I ran upstairs to my room and shut the door behind me. Never have I ever been so upset in my life. The tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down my face. The tears  unchecked down my cheeks and dripped from my chin. 'How can numbers define my potential?' I continued to ask myself this question but my soul was too broken to give a reply. 

Maybe it was the way the world is your weight, your grades, your assets, your height, your salary, the numbers of followers you have, all of these mattered more than the person I am. 

The girl who got highest grade in Social Studies or in Biology was labeled as a failure for getting a B- in math (which ofcource had numbers). As stupid as it may sound to someone else this was the thing that I was going through right now. I was labeled as stupid, worthless and a disappointment by everyone. And by everyone I mean my parents too. 

I moved towards the window as the light always soothed me so much so nothing else in this huge world could. I was too sad to cry out or to wail so I stood there while the tears streamed down my face discreetly yet swiftly. 

"Sad" is a word that sounds so child-like, I mean it's like "Sad" can go away with a gentle smile of a friend of yours but "Sad" is nothing of that sort. It sits inside our bodies like the seeds of depression which only needs the right time to grow and destroy you wholly. 

For anyone else, it may sound really stupid but deep down only I know how much hurt I truly am. Being labeled as a 'disappointment' by my parents isn't a small thing at it. That word broke my heart into million little pieces. 

As I have seen in the movies and T.V. Shows that's not at all how people cry in real life. From what I have seen someone else crying it's beautiful yet destructive at the same time. 

Beautiful, because they let all of it out and when you see a person's tears it's not just water, lipids, lysosomes, glucose, urea, sodium, and potassium; no, it's far more than that it's everything the person wasn't able to express through the compressions are rarefactions made by the air columns in their voice and everything that they have been holding up. 

Destructive, because they are unable to speak, unable to breathe and the world around them melts into a shade of grey the weight in their chest locks their throat and every pain in the back of their mind comes out. Of course we can't forget the tears. Small crystal beads that trail down the cheeks to the neck, and the chest. Only to melt into the cloth they wore or to fall off their pouting lip.

Nothing, ever has made me feel so low before today. I always the tough one but only a word broke me down. Maybe this is an over exaggeration but I couldn't bear all of this anymore. Numbers started defining me more than myself. 

So, I shut the window and lay on my bed almost  in oblivion. I constantly think about everything. Yes, everything which made me even more upset. I slowly closed my eyes but not for more than a split second and I could see those tears falling down from the bridge of my nose. Until yesterday, I was best thing that happened to ma and pa and today because of those stupid numbers I am a disappointment. 

Suddenly, my phone buzzes, it was Shawn. Who else it could be, huh? He texted me:

Shawn: Hey, beautiful. I hope you aren't upset with what happened in math class today for me you are a winner and you'll always be one. You always find a way to make my day a little brighter.

I didn't click on it right away but that guy, he made me fight back my tears and made the small curve on my lips better known as a 'smile'reappear. How can someone be so magical? 

A/N 

Hey y'all ! So, how have you been dumdums ? 

As all of you may/ may not have figured out this is something that is inspired ( if that's the right word) from my life. Sometimes everyone is against you, even the people you think that will never leave your side too. So, just take a step back and let it all out because sometimes you need to do that.  And even if you feel like this is end of the world, sometimes you just need to give yourself a little time and trust me everything will be fine just talk it out, or cry it out, or scream it out, or dance it out, or write it out just do anything and take it out of you.

Also, there is a person in my life that always brightens my day up no matter how hard it was and that person if of course May ! Look around, and try to find that person and even if you don't find another person who brightens your day up then why not you do it yourself ? So, why don't we all do one thing? Let's all text the person who never fails to do the above that  You always find a way to make my day a little brighter. Just do it okay? ( AND, if you don't know there's  a way you can text yourself so why don't you do it because you, yes you deserve all the love. 

I love all of you dumdums and you always find a way to make my day a little brighter <3 

~Daisy xox