Hiding My Life (On Hold)

Chapter Twenty

Clary's POV

So, it's been a month since the incident with Jocelyn and I've successfully avoided that bookstore all month. I told Jace about my past, mainly because he wouldn't stop bugging me about it for at least two weeks, so I decided to tell him.

He hugged me, kissed me and comforted me. He didn't judge me, didn't stare at me sympathetically like some people used to, he was amazing. I'm finally starting to trust him again and who knows, maybe we'll get back together.

Now, I'm just finishing up with my baby shower that Maryse planned for me. All of my friends from Boston were there and so were my friends from the gang, Luke, Caleb, Aiden and a few others.

The only thing we have left now, is the gender reveal, but even Jace and I don't know yet. We're doing it in the backyard, though it's October and absolutely freezing cold outside.

Jace and I each held a black balloon and as we both popped them, pink glitter fell out of them and into the grass.

I squealed in joy and Jace picked me up, kissing me passionately. And I returned it. Returned the kiss, the joy.

"I love you, Clary. I love you so much." I smiled as he set me back on the ground and reached into his pocket. I gasped as he pulled a black velvet box from his pocket and got down on one knee.

"Jace-" I started crying and he chuckled, smiling up at me.

"I have loved you since the first day I met you and I made mistakes, I know that, but letting you go was the worst mistake of my fucking life. I was miserable without you. Until we met again in Hawaii and created our little girl. I love you so much, so I'm asking, will you, Clarissa Adele Morgenstern, marry me and make me the happiest man in the world?" I sobbed into my hand as I nodded.

He quickly stood and kissed me once again, this time with a different kind of joy. "I love you, too. So, so much." I whispered to him and he slipped the giant diamond ring onto my finger.

We accepted congratulations from everyone and I, of course, had to show off my beautiful ring to the girls.

Jace and I got into my car, but he drove. Magnus and Alec were going to come back to my place to help us take our massive amount of presents upstairs.

He held my hand over the console the whole way home and once we parked out front of my building, Mags and Alec immediately started taking things upstairs, as they already had a key to my place.

"You'll be okay while we take things up?" I nodded to Jace as he helped me out of the car and kissed me.

"I will be fine and someone has to stay here so our shit doesn't get stolen." His hands rubbed the sides of my belly as he kissed me again.

"Okay. I'll be back down soon." He grabbed a few things from the back and headed into the building. I got tired and sat in the back, holding onto my belly as I ate from a bag of chocolate covered peanuts from the baby shower.

"Clarissa?" Jocelyn appeared in front of me and I sighed, keeping my eyes on the bag of peanuts. "I'm sorry for everything I did and everything I let happen to you. I know that me apologizing to you probably doesn't mean a damn thing to you, but I have to at least try." I looked up as Alec and Magnus came back.

"Clary? You okay?" I nodded to Alec.

"I'm fine, Alec. Keep taking things up, I'll be fine here." He nodded and glanced at Jocelyn before him and Magnus took a few more things in.

"You've got some good friends. Baby shower?" I nodded, eating another peanut. "Seems you're about ready to pop." I nodded.

"Two more months." I mumbled.

"Boy or girl?"

"Girl."

"Was one of those guys the father?" I shook my head, seeing Jace walking towards us.

"Clare, you alright?" I nodded to him as he pecked my lips.

"I'm fine. Take more shit upstairs." He nodded and grabbed the pink automatic baby swing.

"He seems nice."

"He's amazing." I fiddled with my ring, still not believing that I'm engaged.

"He proposed?"

"Tonight, yeah." This is so annoying.

"Can you ever forgive me for what I've done? I was screwed up, I will own up to that and I know how badly I hurt you, but I love you. I wanted to apologize long before this, but I didn't have the courage to face you. I'm so, so sorry for everything. Please, forgive me?" I scoffed.

"No. Not gonna happen. You ruined my life in so many ways and I can't forgive you for that. They raped me more times than I can fucking count while you were passed out drunk or high somewhere in the house. You knew what they were doing, but didn't give enough of a damn to stop it. You hurt me, too. I will never forgive you for that." She wiped the tears away before they could fall.

"I'm so sorry, Clarissa." She shrugged her purse up on her shoulder and walked away. I let a few tears escape from my eyes, but I quickly wiped them away.

The guys took a few more trips upstairs before Alec and Magnus went home and Jace and I returned to my apartment.

His legs were on either side of me as I laid back against him in bed. "That was your mom, right?" I nodded as he grabbed my hands, playing with them. "Are you okay?" I shook my head. "Anything I can do to help?"

"I never thought I'd be saying this to you, but I need sex. I've been so horny since I got pregnant, it's unbearable." I groaned and he smirked.

"Anything to help my beautiful fiancée." He chuckled and stripped me of my clothes before he stood and stripped himself. "Sex is always something I will be happy to give you, but shouldn't we have a little extra fun first?" I smiled at his suggestive tone and he pulled out a vibrator from under the bed.

"Mm." I moaned as he sucked and nipped at my neck. But, little did I know that tonight I would have the best sexual experience of my life.