Hiding My Life (On Hold)

Chapter Twenty-One

Clary's POV

A few days after we got engaged, I was still searching for the book that Simon wanted, but it seemed that unless I wanted to pay an arm and a leg for it, I'd have to go to that damn bookstore where I saw Jocelyn.

I knew that he really wanted it, so Jace said he'd go with me and we we're on our way there. He knew what happened between us back then and everything she put me through and he definitely didn't want me to go alone after what happened last time.

"Is this book really worth it?" Jace asked and I nodded from the passenger seat. "Alright. Let's go in." He got out of the car and hurried to my side, pulling me to my feet.

"Thanks for doing this." He smiled and kissed me before lacing our fingers together and walking inside with me.

I didn't look to the guy at the desk, knowing that it was her boyfriend, just walked to the section I knew the book would be in and started looking around.

"You're Clary, right?" I sighed when the lumberjack looking man stood at the end of the aisle. "Jocelyn told me about you, all of the mistakes she made when you were little."

"It wasn't even just when I little, it was all the way up into my teens. Everything she and her boyfriends did to me has haunted me my whole life, so don't come talking to me about Jocelyn's mistakes, just ring me up." I handed him the book as he sighed.

We walked to the register at the desk and he rang the book up. "Look, I don't know what you went through with her back then, but I know her now and she goes to AA, GA, NA, she's better. Maybe, just hear her out, if you can give her that chance." Jace gave him the money and grabbed the bag with the book in it.

"I can't. Maybe she can try with Jonathan, because she technically didn't do anything to him, but he knows about everything she did to me and the hell that that bitch put me through. Tell her I don't want a damn thing to do with her. Thanks for the book."

Jace and I made it back out to the car and I let out a shaky breath. "You okay, baby?"

"Nope. Let's go home." He nodded and we headed back home.

Jace went to bed later that night, but I stayed in the living room watching tv and eating out of a tub of ice cream.

Should I give her a chance? Is she worth it?

Probably not.

After everything that happened to me because of her, I just don't think that I can forgive her.

I don't know, maybe I could-

My thoughts were interrupted by the feeling of me peeing myself. Then, a sharp pain in my side.

"Ow." I whimpered. "Jace! Jace, get down here!"

"What? What's wrong?" He stopped halfway down the stairs.

"I think I'm in labor. Jace, I'm a month early, this can't be happening."

"Don't move, I'll get the hospital bag." He ran upstairs and I stood up, bracing myself on the couch as I suddenly felt sick and dizzy.

"Something's wrong." I whispered and Jace came running down the stairs, dressed and ready to go.

"Okay, I got the bags, let's go." He linked my arm in with his and helped me out to the elevator.

"This doesn't feel right, Jace." I whimpered at the pain in my side.

"It's going to be fine, baby. We've got this." I nodded and he led me out to the car, helping me inside it before rushing over to the drivers side.

Didn't know my car could go so fast.

"We're here." He got out of the car with the bags and opened my door for me, holding both of my hands and leading me inside the hospital.

"I need some help here!" Jace yelled and a few doctors swarmed around me. "She's only in her eighth month, is the baby even ready to come out?"

"I hope so. Let's get you in a room, huh?" The male doctor set me in a wheelchair and took us into an elevator, then into a room in the maternity ward.

After I changed into a hospital gown, I was forced to lay in the bed.

"Where's my phone? I need to call dad and Jon." Jace handed me my phone and went to the bathroom that's connected to my room.

I clicked my number one emergency contact and put the phone to my ear.

"Yes, baby girl?"

"Daddy, I'm in labor. We're at the hospital."

"What? But your due date isn't for another month."

"And yet, I'm in labor."

"O-Okay, I'll call Jon and we'll be there soon. Which hospital are you at?"

"Presbyterian. I'll text you the room number and the code to get in the maternity ward."

"Alright. I love you, baby girl. Be there soon."

"I love you, too, daddy." I hung up the phone and started feeling the pain in my side again.

Jace's POV

The doctors seemed very worried about the pain in Clary's side, but she had fallen asleep already, so they were waiting to do the exam.

"Clary, wake up." The male doctor tried to shake her awake, but she didn't wake. "Clary, please, wake up." He touched her forehead and his smile fell instantly, moving to touch her right side. "Damn it. We need some help in here! Someone call the OR and tell them we're on our way."

"What's happening? Is she okay? The baby?" I was freaking out, I could admit that.

"Clary's appendix has burst, this could be a very fatal complication for both her and the baby. We have to operate on her as soon as possible."

"Okay." They took Clary away and I sat down on the couch in her room.

I didn't understand this.

I grabbed a pen and a piece of paper, writing down everything that I could, even letting a few tears fall onto the page.

Leaving the room, I stopped at the nurses station. "Could you give this to Clarissa Morgenstern when she gets out of surgery?" The woman nodded and took the folded up paper from me. "Thank you."

"You're a bastard for leaving her." I nodded.

"I know."

I pulled on my jacket and rushed out of the hospital, all the while, hoping to god that I wouldn't run into Valentine or Jon.

I went home, packed up the essentials and left our apartment.

This is and will always be the biggest mistake of my life.

But, I am not ready for this.

None of it.

Fuck.