Redemption

Chapter Twenty-Two

Song: Somewhere Only We Know-Keane

I couldn't stop pacing, my feet hurt but I just couldn't stop. I needed to see him, it was driving me crazy. I was past the crying, self-pity phase. Now? I was just pissed.
I groaned, my mind never stopping from replaying him walking away from me. No, I wasn't going to allow it to end like that. I was going to take charge, I was going to bug him until he had to listen to me. Because dammit, I deserved to give my side of the story.
    "Open this fucking door, Elliot! God, why are you such a baby!" I yelled kicking his door repeatedly. I didn't care that my toes hurt, I only cared about Elliot opening the door. Tears were streaming down my face, my eyes puffy from all the crying. I wasn't crying because I was sad, well, partly. I was crying because I was so mad that he had managed to leave like this. It had been a week since he last talked to me, since he tried to leave me. God dammit, I promised myself I wasn't going to get attached. But how could I not? He was perfect in every way and he liked me, what more could I ask for?
    I was so tired of being left over the smallest of things. Yes, Lucas kissed me, but I didn't want him to! Why couldn't Elliot see that? I was over Lucas! I wanted him! Hell, I loved him! And now, I was being shut out. Elliot had shelled himself away from me for God knows how long. Possibly forever and I wasn't sure I was going to be able to accept that. He was acting like such a child and we would have resolved this so long ago if he would have just listened to me. I sure as hell didn't deserve to be tortured for this long. 

"I hope you're happy, Elliot! You've ruined me!" I yelled, the tears streaming harder down my cheeks and soon the door opened and I was being pulled into the apartment. He pressed me against the door and blocked me in with his perfect, strong arms. 

    "Do you not understand what stay the fuck away from me means?" He growled. His eyes were dark and his tone was rigid. He was beyond pissed with me but did he still  have a right to be? No, because he was being as stubborn as a mule and it wasn't getting him anywhere. I had never known him to be like that, not within the months I had known him.

"Not when you're being so damn childish! Why talk to me now after you've avoided me for so long? Just to torture me even more? Elliot, if you'd only listen-"

"You know, I saw all I needed to, Andrea! You're just like everyone else."

"Are you serious? You're a bigger dick than I thought! You won't even hear me out!"

"Do you just go around kissing every fucking guy you see? Or is it just your ex who just so happens to be married? I wouldn't be surprised if you kissed that other guy, either." He was being so harsh and I would be lying if I said it didn't hurt. It hurt so much but I just couldn't leave him. Especially when he had finally opened his door.

"Fuck you, Elliot! I didn't know he was going to kiss me! I wasn't going to kiss him. I didn't kiss him back!" I sobbed, my eyes screwed shut. I should have been happy that he was even talking to me again. Sure, he was yelling, but at least he opened the door. The past times were pointless, he sure did a great job of avoiding me. Why now? Was he finally caving or did he just want me to suffer even more? I wasn't sure of the answer and I wanted to know desperately.
    He laughed, but it was humorless. "I'm not a fucking idiot, Andrea. I know that you love him. I'm not fucking stupid." He pushed off of me, pacing the floor.
    I was beyond done with taking his "woe is me" bullshit. I was done. It was time for me to stop being such a goddamn baby about all of it and let it out. Was I terrified? Sure. Telling someone how I felt had never been easy for me. But to hell with it. If this was the only way for him to forgive me, I was going to do it.
    "I love you, Elliot. Don't you get that? I. Love. You. I don't love Lucas, I haven't in a long time. Why can't you get that through your thick skull? God you're such a fucking asshole!"