Pretty Hurts. •Jaegan•

•seventeen•

(Happy Easter! Also guys I will not be writing any, smut or dirty scenes, sorry. I'm here to make you cry and feel very emotional. Not to fix your sexual needs, so yeah, go read Iron_16 Jaegan smut book for that. It's really good, and funny, very very sexual as well, because it's smut. But come to me, if you wanna cry, because I'll make ya cry.)

Justin's pov.

I woke up, drained, I had no energy left to do anything. I felt around, I was the only one in my bed, no Raegan. I sighed. I had school today. Do I go? Or do I stay? I made my way to get up but my door to my bedroom opened.

"Hey, hey, hey, no come on, back in bed." Raegan soothed me back into bed.

"B-but school." My voice broke as I tried to talk.

"No, you will stay here, your not going to school." Raegan told me. Well okay.

"Hey Rae? Where was Kale and Ryan, the day you were gone?" I asked him, changing the subject.

"I called Jack, but Jack couldn't come, so I called Kale, and he came, he brung Ryan along too. I don't know why Jack couldn't come, but he couldn't." Raegan explained.

"So Kale came and helped you?" I asked, as I looked up at Raegan.

"Yeah, I was going to call you, but I didn't want you to see me like that, I didn't want to see that disappointment." He told me, sadly.

"Okay." I agreed. I didn't know what else to do. Other then to agree. I'd understand that. If I cut, I wouldn't want Raegan to see me like that, he'd be so disappointed.

"What do you want to eat?" Raegan asked me, the subject changing again.

"Um, anythings fine." I smiled up at him.

"Okay babe." He said and leaned down and kissed me, before exiting my room.

And that's when it broke. I started bawling, sobbing, thrashing around. Everything felt horrible. Why did everything have to be so hard? I hate it. I hate it. I just wanna die. I don't want to be alive anymore. I sobbed, I lifted my hand to try and quiet my sobs, but it was no use. I'm broken. I know I promised them I wouldn't do it again. But I can't take it anymore. I can't. It hurts too much.

I managed to get up, and walk to my door. I turned the lock that it had on it. Before going over to a picture I had in my room. I took it off the wall, and grabbed the blade taped to the back of it. I slid down the wall, collapsing. I held up my wrist, looking at the old healed scars. It angered me. I grabbed the blade and held it down, before angrily sliding it across. I did it many more times. A words playing in my mind each time.

Worthless. One.

Disappointment. Two.

Useless. Three.

Ugly. Four.

Fat. Five.

Stupid. Six.

Fuck up. Seven.

Mistake. Eight.