The Impossible

06

Barry's POV

It's been a few days since Aspen and I went on our little lunch... meeting. She's been on my mind nonstop and I have no idea how to get her out. Just the way that she drives me crazy is the one thing that also makes her almost irresistible.

Her laugh is sweet like honey, her smile could light up the entire city if she would smile that is. Her long golden blonde hair is perfect and looks to be incredibly soft. Her blue eyes just sparkle in that hypnotic way that makes you go crazy.

But what makes me frustrated about her is how guarded and how much of a pain she is. There is so much kindness and happiness in her that's bottled up waiting for her to explode, but she doesn't. She keeps it in like something is forcing her to, like something from her past.

She makes me want to tear my hair out, but I can't stop thinking about her no matter what. She's living in my head the way Iris is supposed to. Aspen is all I've been able to think about since we met, which was two, almost, three weeks ago. Why she's in my head, beats me.

Caitlin, Joe, Iris, and even Cisco have told me that there is something between us whether we realize it or not, and I don't want them to hold that against us. I finally got her to open up a tiny bit, and still, she barely opened up.

From what I can tell, if someone even mentions any sort of changes in her good or bad, she goes back to being shy and standoffish. She doesn't want people to recognize when she's smiling or happy, she just wants to go about her day. But I've been noticing it just by the small time we've known each other.

I know there's still a lot that she doesn't know, and I did just lie straight to her face, which I know will catch up to me fairly soon. I just can't shake the fact that she's smart and she probably saw right through me at the diner.

I just can't have her become involved in this Flash mess. The second she knows about The Flash is the second she'll discover it's me. She'll want to be involved and somehow she will become someone who could be in very big danger. I can't let that happen.

Caitlin texted me about Aspen finding the suit in the Cortex so I had to think of an excuse quick when Aspen asked me about it. I told Caitlin the fake excuse and she seemed to approve of it. I hated that we were all lying to her, but none of us understand why Dr. Wells hired her in the first place if she wasn't supposed to know.

But here I am, on my way to Joe's because I got a call from Iris that she had something for me. It's been awkward being around Iris since I told her about my feelings. I was happy Aspen was there to save me from going to lunch with Iris and Eddie, but she couldn't save me from this.

I'd just like to move on with my life and forget I ever said anything to Iris about my feelings. It's clear she didn't reciprocate them and she's with Eddie. I shouldn't be in the way to jeopardize what they have. Besides, I have someone new to worry about...

When I got to Joe's house, Iris gave me my old backpack that still had some unopened comics in it. It was a nice gesture, but the energy in the room was low and awkward. I could barely make eye contact with her and I knew Joe was going to say something about it.

When Iris left, my theory was proven right.

"Do you want to tell me what's happening between you and Iris?" Joe asked, making me feel more and more awkward.

"Nothing..." I said, shaking my head so he would hopefully believe me.

"That's funny because I have these two things called eyes and it doesn't look like you two are fine." His voice rang in my ears as I looked down at the red old backpack.