CRUSH U | EXO ONESHOTS

time to leave | sulay

𝚝𝚊𝚐𝚜: 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝, 𝚊 𝚕𝚘𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚒𝚝
𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚙 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚗 𝚜𝚖 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚜, 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗
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"Hyung," Yixing said, barely audible, when he entered Junmyeon's room, "I have to tell you something," the dancer looked up at his lover, teary eyed.

"What is it?" the elder closed his book, eyeing Yixing with stern expression.

"I," the younger male suddenly felt insecure and shy around the man he loves, "I am leaving," after saying that, Yixing immediately looked away, not wanting to see the way Junmyeon is looking at him now.

The dancer didn't see the pain written all over Junmyeon's face, but he could hear him dropping the book and standing abruptly. "Say what now?" his voice sounded so scary to Yixing.

"I said," Yixing tried his best to fight back the tears, but his voice was shaky, "I'm leaving," he finally found the courage to look up into Junmyeon's eyes.

The elder couldn't find anything to say. He opened his mouth a couple times, but nothing came out. He wanted to say so much, but didn't know what at the same time.

"I'm sorry," Yixing wanted to hug him, kiss him, tell him how much he loves him, but decided against it. "I'm really sorry," he couldn't hold back his tears anymore.

"B-but why?" Junmyeon tried not to stutter, he tried not to sound broken, but he did anyway.

"I," the dancer felt like every reason he was giving himself would sound stupid to Junmyeon, "I want to be happy," by now, he wasn't even trying to hide the fact he's crying.

The elder frowned at that statement. "Are you not happy here?"

"I am," Yixing shook his head quickly, "I am happy with you, but I am not happy with everything that comes with it," he was talking through his quiet sobs. "I am not happy with this group, with this company."

Junmyeon sucked in a breath. "I know this group has changed. A lot.. since Kris, Tao and Luhan left. But it doesn't mean that you should leave us too."

Yixing got angry remembering his friends' departure. "Can you not see why they left?! They were treated like toys, not like actual people!" his voice got quiet again. "I am treated like a toy."

"We don't treat you like a toy, it's the damn company. It sucks that they treat Chinese people like shit," the elder crossed his arms.

"I don't want to live like this," the dancer looked into Junmyeon's eyes, searching for some kind of understanding. And although the elder didn't say anything, he pulled Yixing into a tight embrace.

The dancer cried on Junmyeon's shoulder, not being able to stop. "I don't want to leave you, but I want to feel like human again."

The elder rubbed his back soothingly. "You're an adult. You don't have to listen to what they tell you all the time."

"Being an adult doesn't change the fact that it hurts," Yixing whispered. "I feel worthless," his voice got more and more quiet with every word. "I feel like I don't matter."

"You're not worthless and you do matter. You rock my world, Yixing," Junmyeon pulled back, a small smile forming on his lips.

But Yixing only looked down. "I-I just can't live like this."

"Please, don't leave me," Junmyeon begged, "I need you."

"I-I can't," Yixing turned around. "I need to do something for myself for once," Yixing took the first step towards the door and whispered. "I'm too weak to handle this."

Junmyeon grabbed his wrist and pulled him back to his chest, back hugging him. "Don't leave."

Yixing took Junmyeon's arms with the intention of pulling away, but ended up just holding them. "P-please, let me go," he sobbed.

"Please," the elder mumbled against his back.

"Junmyeon," Yixing finally found the strength to push him away, "I'm begging you," he turned around to look into the elder's eyes. "I need to do this."

Something broke inside Junmyeon and he backed away. "Then I can't stop you."

"Please, understand," but Junmyeon couldn't, he was too hurt.

"If I can't stop you then there's no point of me talking to you at the moment."

"Please, I don't want to end it like this," Yixing reached out to hold Junmyeon's hand, but the elder didn't react.

"You know they make us break contact with former members, so I guess you should leave now," Junmyeon's voice was cold and strict.

"Do you hate me now?" Yixing let go of Junmyeon's hand and stepped back.

"For leaving me, yes."

Yixing turned around quickly to hide how heartbroken he is and walked away, leaving Junmyeon just as hurt.