CRUSH U | EXO ONESHOTS

broccoli lover | seccoli

𝚝𝚊𝚐𝚜: 𝚋𝚛𝚘𝚌𝚌𝚘𝚕𝚒 𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚔, 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚔𝚊𝚒𝚜𝚘𝚘, 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚋𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗, 𝚞𝚗𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚘𝚏 𝚋𝚛𝚘𝚌𝚌𝚘𝚕𝚒, 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚕𝚢, keep in mind that it was written as a joke
-

"Jongin, where are my dildos?" Sehun yelled into the phone after going through every single box that had arrived from their old apartment. "I specifically asked for that box to come first."

"Well I guess it didn't, don't fucking blame me. It's not my fault you can't just jerk off like we all do," Jongin told him, not really being in the mood nor having the time to argue with his best friend and, unfortunately, also the person he shared an apartment with. "K-kyungsoo, fuck-" that was all it took for Sehun to realize that Jongin is getting a blowjob while talking to him.

"Look Sehun, I-I don't give a shit about your dildos and for all I care you can shove a broccoli up your ass and act like it's a butt plug," after saying that, Jongin ended the call before Sehun could whine about anything else.

"What an asshole," Sehun muttered into the phone before throwing in onto the couch and going to kitchen.

Sehun opened the fridge to take coke, but his eyes stumbled across something else. "you can shove a broccoli up your ass and act like it's a butt plug" Sehun replayed Jongin's words in his head as he kept staring at the green vegetable.

"Freaking Jongin," he whispered and closed the fridge with coke in his hand and walked back to the living room.

It didn't take too long and Sehun was once again thinking about broccoli. His brain took him to weird places when he was horny and right now, using broccoli as a butt plug didn't seem like a bad idea, quite the contrary. Once again, Sehun entered the kitchen, opened the fridge and took the broccoli out, walking to his room with it.

"Jongin, I hate you so much," Sehun complained before taking his jeans off along with boxers. His brain wasn't working at this point and the only thing Sehun felt was how horny he is.

He started stretching himself with his fingers and soon enough had three of them thrusting in and out, but Sehun wanted more than his fingers and what he did next will forever be Sehun's biggest and most embarrassing secret.

Sehun took the broccoli, which now had condom on and complained about Jongin one more time before slowly pushing the broccoli in.

He couldn't stop the moan which escaped his mouth when he pushed the broccoli deeper into himself. Maybe it was the level of Sehun's horniness, but he felt like broccoli is better than an actual butt plug.

"Oh, fuck," Sehun mumbled when he started to push the broccoli in and out. It couldn't go too deep but it was thick enough to make Sehun cry out in pleasure as he was fucking himself.

It was different than a butt plug or a dildo, which is expectable, but what made Sehun surprised was that it wasn't worse than those things. It felt good- no, it felt amazing.

Fucking himself with a broccoli is something Sehun will never admit doing, but he'll never regret it either, because he hasn't had orgasm as intense as that one in a while.

(i apologize to the broccoli fandom)