Battle Scars

chapter 26 - nothing more than a memory

Friday evening, as we all eat the homemade dinner Steph took hours to make, we awkwardly sit around the table, the only noise is forks against plates. Jude finishes chewing and sets his fork down on his plate.

"Steph, Lena?" His tiny voice calls across the table, "I was wondering... Can my friend come over tomorrow?"

Steph and Lena glance at each other, like they are reading each others minds. They both nod at the same time and Lena asks who his friend is.

"His name's Connor and he's in my math and science classes."

They both nod again in understanding and Steph smiles at him, "We'd be glad to have him over!"

"Um, if it's not too much to ask," I start, "can my friend, Katelyn, come over too? She's new to our school and I thought it'd be nice to, you know, get to know her."

"Of course, that's a great idea." Lena smiles and adds, "We want you two to feel.... Comfortable in this house. I'm glad you guys felt comfortable asking to have friends over."

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Saturday morning, just after I crawled out of bed, I headed down stairs, following the scent of baccon, eggs, and toast from the kitchen. I sit down and steal a piece of baccon off a plate in the middle of the table. Brandon sits next to me and sets a huge plate of food in front of me, giving me a smile. I return the smile, say thank you, and he grabs my hand from under the table so no one would see.

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It's around 2:00 now and the sun shines on my face through the window as I scrub the last few dirty dishes. The window's open, allowing the peaceful breeze in the house. The birds sing back and forth to each other, putting a small smile on my face. Just as I finish washing the last plate, the doorbell rings and because Connor's already here, I know it's Katelyn.

I open the door and there she stands, same dark purple hair, same black glasses, same fake smile. Even though everyone else is wearing shorts and tee shirts, she sticks with her skinny jeans. Instead of her usual black hoodie though, multi-colored bracelets go up and down her arms, covering every spot on her wrists. Just now I know for sure why she dresses that way.

I smile, say hi, and motion her in with my hand. She takes a few steps inside and looks around.

"I wish my house was like this," she whispers, it fills me with dread wondering what it's like at her house.

"Um, we can go up to my room, I have to share one but Mariana's nice," I say, hopefully changing the subject. She nods and I lead her up the stairs and to mine and Mariana's room at the end of the hall. To my surprise, when I open the door, Katelyn and I are the only ones there. "Mariana must be with Lexi today."

For a while we just talk, but some how the subject changed to our past. It's something we have in common I guess.

"How many foster homes have you been in?" Katelyn asks and I have to pause a bit so I can count them all.

"Six? Maybe seven... Yeah seven. None of them were good till this one. Mostly they were all just bad homes, the parents didn't really care. One of them, me and Jude were stuck with an abusive foster dad and some how I got sent to juvie. Another me and my foster brother had.... A relationship. It wasn't a very good one, he broke my heart plenty of times. My last foster home I only stayed at for a few days until I met Steph and Lena."

"I wish I was sent to foster homes, it would've been better than staying at my house. All my family does is tell me how horrible I am. They don't even do anything for my birthdays... I don't even know if they know when my birthday is. Anyway, they can barely look at me, they really do act like I killed my mom on purpose."

"You didn't kill your mom. A lot of women die when giving birth but it's not the baby's fault."

She sits silently for a minute or two, staring at something on the floor.

"Have you ever... Tried to... K-kill yourself?" She aks with tears in her eyes.

I take a deep breath and answer honestly, "Yes, only once though."

"With pills," it sounds more like a statement then a question.

"How did you...."

"I see the bottle. And there's one under your nightstand."

I look and she's right. The night I tried to commit suicide and Brandon stopped me, we missed a pill when we cleaned them up.

"My older cousin died from drugs. She was the only one in my family who still loved me after what happened with my mother. She took too many a couple years ago. We still don't know if it was suicide or if she just planned to get high with her friends. But she's gone now. All because of pills," she explains.

I really don't know what to say at this point. This girl is so broken, so weak. She's so misunderstood. She's just like me, and that scares me. I don't want anyone else to be like me. Being me sucks and it hurts, I hate knowing that other people hurt as much as I do. I hate even more that I don't know how I can help.

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Author's Note:

I'm so sorry I haven't updated in so long! My wifi has been down for the longest time it feels like forever! I'll try to update either later today cause we don't have school, or tomorrow. Anyway, guys I'm so sorry, it felt so weird not writing in so long! But yeah, not a lot of Brallie in this chapter, but there will be more... Honeslty in the show Brandon's changed so much and I don't like it! What do you guys think?