Battle Scars

chapter 31 - nightmares

Last night Lena drove Mariana, Jesus, Jude and I back to the house, then she went back to the hospital so her and Steph could stay with Brandon over night. I slept in his sweatshirt because it smells like him. Surprisingly I fell asleep pretty quick.

I wake up to my phone vibrating loudly on my nightstand. Steph's calling. I check the time. 4:21AM. He's gone, I think as I cautiously answer the call.

"Hello?" I speak into the phone in a small, scared voice.

"Bad news, Callie," her voice cracks and I hear the tears. I brace myself for what's coming next, "it happened in his sleep. Lena and I went to check on him... He wasn't breathing."

I realize it's a dream only when I wake up, for real, to my phone buzzing. It is Steph, but it's 9:30 in the morning, not 4:30. I wipe my face and answer.

"Hello?"

"Callie. Ok so, the doctors told us he's going to stay one more day but he'll be good to come home tomorrow for sure," I sigh in relief. My nightmares keep getting worse and worse. If they ever came true...

I go downstairs to tell everyone, still wearing his sweatshirt. Everyone just nods, none if us are happy he's coming home tomorrow because we're all upset he won't be home today. We're all angry, I guess, from the fact that this is happening to him. He never did anything to deserve any of this, that makes me angry.

I keep replaying last night's visit with Brandon in my head over and over. Our conversations always make me smile, even if it's the type of conversation you have with anyone. Being with him makes me happier than I've been in a long time.

I skip breakfast and go back up to my room. I leave on Brandon's sweatshirt (I barely ever take it off) and put on a pair of leggings. Me and Katelyn made plans the other day to go to the mall today. The mall is the last place I want to be right now, but Katelyn's kinda worried about me considering I spend most of my free time at the hospital. I throw my hair up into a messy bun and put on my converse even though Katelyn's not picking me up until 3:00.

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"Okay, so where do you wanna go first?" Katelyn asks when we got out of the car in the mall parking lot. I really only go to the mall to spend time with my friends so I don't care where we go. Katelyn's not a fan of shopping either, so I know shes just trying to get my mind off of... Everything.

"Um, I don't care. You choose."

She gives me her famous 'you're-annoying-me' look, "Okay, Cals. I don't exactly wanna go shopping either. You and I both know that we'd much rather be locked in our rooms, blasting music in our ears, ignoring the world, and all that. But I'm doing this for you. I want you to continue living and so does Brandon. None of this is easy, but you can't spend the rest if your life in the hospital! And I'm telling you this simply because I love you and I care about you: Callie, you're scaring me! You basicaly live in that hoodie and I haven't seen you eat in, like, forever. So please, just for today, enjoy the sun and spend some money?"

I look at her and force a smile, "This, is why I love you."

Because neither of us are that girly, we decide to spend most of our money in Hot Topic. After we went to Starbucks (of course) and just talked for a while. I love my friendship with Katelyn. I can be completely crazy with her one minute, and the next, have a deep conversation with her. She listens. It makes me feel better.

We went to her house after spending a couple hours at the mall. We did what we always do, put on music and talk. It may sound boring, but I love moments like this with Katelyn. The best thing about being best friends with her, is that I can talk to her about anything at anytime and she's always there for me. We're just sitting in her room crying, listing our imperfections and problems. After a day of shopping, we come home still upset and when I'm with her, I don't have to hide my feelings. I trust her.

I spent a total of 4 full hours with her before she drove me home. I don't really feel like eating, so instead of waiting for dinner, I decide to go straight to bed - even though it's only 7:00. Sleeping is all I've been wanting to do for a while now. The only problem is, are my nightmares. I either wake up in the middle of the night because of them, or I'm afraid to sleep because of them. I actually fell asleep easily today.

But when I woke up it wasn't because of a nightmare. It might sound dramatic, but I mean it when I say, I woke up literally living a bigger nightmare. It's more than just Brandon's cancer. It's Katelyn. And it's real.

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Author's Note:

Oh, God guys I'm so sorry I haven't updated in like forever! I'll try to update again tomorrow, depending on how much homework I have. Anyway, I feel bad for not updating and then leaving this chapter off with a cliffhanger... Haha! But I love you guys and I promise to update as soon as possible! One other thing, I'm going to start a new story. It's not going to be a fanfiction, but I'll tell you when I post the first chapter and I'd really love it if you give it a chance! Thanks!