Battle Scars

chapter 9 - my one in 7 billion

This morning can't possibly get anymore awkward. Both Steph and Lena are out shopping and aren't picking up Mariana from Lexi's until they get back. Jesus is "studying" with some girl from school - I don't think they'll work out as a couple though - so of course it's only me, Brandon, and Jude in the house.

I told Brandon that I love him last night. What was I thinking? I barely know him! I know he was there for me ever since we met, but I can't possibly love him! Right?

I wasn't thinking about Jude. I was only thinking about myself and now I feel.... I don't even know how I feel! I guess I'm just confused and stupid. I guess I'm just a regular teenage girl who always fall for the wrong guys - not that I fell for Brandon..... I don't even know.

What I do know is that Jude is the most important person in my life and I can't ruin things for him again. I do like Brandon, I can't pretend that I don't. I glance at Jude from across the kitchen table and try to smile but it comes out more sad than happy. I'm sitting at the end of the table and without even thinking about it, me eyes travel over to Brandon, leaning on the sink staring back at me. I quickly look down at my lap and I can feel my cheeks burning red in embarrassment.

Last night I actually had a dream about Brandon. Honestly, I don't even remember what the dream was about. All I really remember is Brandon's laugh, Brandon's eyes, Brandon's smile, Brandon's personality, and Brandon being Brandon; the sweet, caring, helpful, kind Brandon that I've... fallen for. I can't help how I feel. Pretending I don't have feelings for him won't do anyone any good.

From across the room Jude breaks the silence, "Callie, can I go over my friend Connor's house tomorrow? I know I have to ask Steph and Lena, but I also wanted your permission."

I look at him, confused. Why would he want my permission? "Well, I don't care. Who's Connor?"

"A friend," he replies, looking at his lap. Is he embarrassed?

"Oh? What's he like?" I want to know why he's acting like It's a bad thing for him to have a friend.

"Smart, funny, nice," he shrugs, "amazing."

Now I understand. Jude likes this Connor kid! What I don't understand is why he'd be embarrassed to tell me. He looks up at me and I smile at him for a while, making sure he knows I approve. He smiles back which only makes me smile bigger. He has the most amazing smile in the world; one I've been aching to see for a long time. His whole face lights up and you can see in his eyes that he's truly happy.

He excitedly runs upstairs and me and Brandon are left alone. I look up at him and he stares back.

"I'm happy for him." He says, speaking of Jude.

"Yeah me too," I say quickly, "and I don't wanna ruin it."

"You won't ruin his happiness. He's happy if you're happy."

"Not necessarily, Brandon." I say with an attitude as I get up from my seat. When I turn around, me and Brandon are barely inches apart. We stand there for a minute, looking into each other's eyes.

"He'll always love you. No matter who you date."

"Brandon," I say harshly, but still whispering, "we can't date! You're my foster brother, last time I got involved with a foster brother, I ruined my real brother's life!"

I can tell that he's heart broken. His eyes have nothing but sadness in them and he's stopped looking at me.

"I'm nothing like Liam. I love you, Callie," I flinch at the word love, I'm having a hard time believing that it exists.

"If you love me you wouldn't make me choose," I say before running away from him and up to my room, leaving him behind.

When I get to my room, I quietly shut the door behind me - I don't want Jude to worry about me. I lean on door and run my hands through my thick brown hair. Eventually, my legs give out and I'm forced to sit against my door. I hug my knees close to my chest and rest my head on them, crying. Crying has always been a sign of weakness to me. At this point I don't even care. Crying is better than hurting myself again.

I stay that way for a while before there's a knock on my door. I don't answer and I try to calm my crying, I don't want anyone seeing my tears. Another knock and Brandon tells me to open the door but I refuse. He's calling my name but I still say nothing. I hear him sigh and right when I think he's going to give up, the door knob turns and I move out of the way.

The minute I see Brandon, I can no longer hold it in. I run to him and he hugs me closer than ever. I sob into his chest as he strokes my hair and rocks me back and forth. He's always there for me. He's the only person other than Jude that I trust. The only one I can talk to and the one person I'm willing to cry in front of. He's not my one in a million; he's my one in 7 billion.

"I love you too," I say through sobs and he holds me even closer.

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Author's Note:

What do you guys think? I absolutely love your comments! Thank you for reading guys! I really hope you like it, I know it's not my best. Oh and I'm planning on putting a little bit of Jude and Connor moments in here. If you don't like that idea just let me know! I want to make this as good as I can so maybe comment suggestions on how to make it better? Anyway, thanks again! I love you guys!!