Battle Scars

chapter 34 - the good got bad, the bad got worse

It's a few weeks later. Brandon and Katelyn are both back home, but that doesn't mean they feel better. Brandon hasn't gone to school in over a month. Katelyn's scared to go to school because people are so horrible to her. Because of all this, I haven't been too well either. It's hard, really hard. Two people I love so much are hanging by a thread that could snap at any minute of any day.

I'm trying though. I'm trying to keep my grades up and not fall back into depression. Not just for them, but for the rest of the family as well as myself.

Trying isn't doing much though, I guess my best just isn't good enough. My life has pretty much been school, homework, and sleep. I don't eat as much as I should. I barely talk to anyone anymore, not that I did before, but I mean, I haven't even talked to Wyatt in a while. Sleep is complicated. Some nights I hardly get a couple hours, others I can't wake up. My energy level has been low too. Coffee doesn't even perk me up anymore.

But I am still doing my best in school, I haven't, like, dropped out or anything - not yet at least. I can still force a smile, which is good. I keep thinking that maybe if I pretend to be happy, I'll end up believing that I am.

Mariana and I stay up late at night when we can't sleep and we talk for hours. I love having her, and sharing a room with her is the best thing ever right now. But she's changed a lot too since Brandon started getting really sick. Not even Perfect Mariana worries about her hair or her outfit anymore. Plus she's turned down a few party invintations, rejected a cute guy, and stopped wearing make-up. She's a completely new person.

It's the last week of April, even the sky has been depressing. But even when the weather's nice, there's still this big storm cloud that hovers over me. I don't want to call it depression, but it's deffinately way worse than sadness.

The thing that makes all of this worse is that tomorrow I have to go back to school and watch Katelyn get pushed around and torn apart by society. And while we're walking in the halls or sitting in class, I know Brandon will be sleeping on the couch, pale, weak, and in unbarable pain.

I hope they know, they're not alone. I feel their pain, I experiance it with them. I know how much it hurts, but it hurts more because I'm just here, there's nothing I can do to help either of them.

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Author's Note:

This chapter could've been a lot better, I'm sorry. It could've ended better too, so I appologize. I'm going to try to update daily again, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to update every single day. I'd really appreciate if you left a comment, I love reading what you guys feel about the story.