Battle Scars

chapter 39 - presenting

The only people I let read my poem when it was finished were Katelyn, Brandon, and Jude. I only allowed them to read it because they're in it. They all hug me and Katelyn cries a little.

"I love it Callie, it's beautiful," she says as we hug. I didn't think it was that great...

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The day of presentations, I walk into class with Katelyn confidently. And also a bit scared, not of presenting, but because today's the day Brandon's doctor decided that they'll try the radiation. That makes me more nervous than speaking in front of the class.

I was actually excited to present. Until my name was called to go up to the front of the class and talk about my depressing and personal life. All the poems that were read so far were sad, of course, but none of them as deep as mine.

All eyes are on me. I hate when all eyes are on me. When I look over at Katelyn, I feel a bit better. I remember that the hundreds of red lines on her arms that I wrote about in my poem could've killed her a couple weeks ago. I remember that there's a 75% chance that Brandon will be better after today. I know that everything I wrote about turned me into who I am and I'm not afraid of showing the real me. And I know that there's way worse things in life than speaking in front of 30 people.

When I start to tell the words I wrote, I feel less and less nervous with every word. When I finish, everyone begins to clap, and when I look over at Timothy, he's smiling a real smile. For once, I made a teacher proud.

I go and sit back down and Katelyn tells me I did and good job. Then Timothy calls the name Anna and Barbie stands up. That's her name! I remember now because... In middle school people would make fun of her about it because she would never eat at lunch. They told her that her name fits her disease and I could tell it really hurt her.

I wondered what her poem would be about and if it would talk about her anorexia. When the paper was over, I felt bad. For punching her. For calling her Barbie. For underestimating her. For thinking that she was so bad when really she's as broken as I am.

"You told us to write about pain," she began, "well I'm not a great writter,

But I sure have felt the pain you're talking about.

I know I deserved it,

I'm a terrible person,

But the bruise on the side of my face,

Reminds me of those my father gave me in junior high.

I don't know why he did it,

But I understand why my cheek is now black and blue.

God, please forgive me,

For the person I turned into.

I never wanted to cause pain,

I just wondered if anyone feels the way I did.

Forgive me for never attending church,

I still believe and you're the one who helped me through.

I truely am sorry for wasting money,

By wasting my meals.

And forgive me for never sending prayers,

I hope this can count as one.

And to the girl in the back of the class,

Who hurts because of me,

I'm not expecting you to forgive me,

But I need you to know how badly I feel," Anna folds up her paper and puts it behind her back, but she's not finished.

She looks at Katelyn the rest of the time she speaks, "I feel you should know,

That this appology is true,

It didn't take hours to write this part of my poem,

I'm writing it now, as I go.

There really is no excuse,

For me to treat a person so terrible.

You deserve so much better,

And I need you to know,

Before it's too late,

That I'm telling you now,

To put the blade away, sweetie."

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Author's Note:

Obviously this chapter's message was to not judge a person until you know them. I wanted this one to really speak to you guys, and I hope it did. I actually really like this chapter and I hope you do too! Please comment, I love knowing what you think of it! Thanks for reading guys!