Mr. Mendes

The Past.

Lexi. (Four Years Later)

The snow was sticking. The cold air blew through the streets of New York. My light sweater blew in sync with the wind.

I walked up the steps to my apartment and wanted to just rest. It had been a little over four years since everything that happened. I haven't heard a single word from him.

I choose to not use his name, only because it still hurts to think of him. Sometimes at night, I would cry myself to sleep when I think of him. I still have some pictures of us saved in my phone, and that's probably what hurts me the most.

He was the love of my life, and I know nothing could ever change that. Throughout the few years I hadn't had him in my life, I finished school at NYU and now I'm working at a local coffee shop.

I buried my mind into my school work hoping it would help me forget about him, but it didn't. No matter how hard I tried. I went on my own hoping that it could somehow fix everything.

I'm all alone, and it's kind of easier, but then I start thinking, which makes everything go downhill. When I first moved away, I got involved with the wrong crowd, but I was smart and pulled myself away from them when I had the chance.

I only had one mind set, and that was to get through life no matter how much pain I've been going through for the last few years. I gave up so much for him, and I don't regret it.

I got up to my apartment, finally, and decided to take a warm shower. I stripped off all of my clothes and let the warm water hit my skin. A lot has changed in my life since I left him.

Usually when changes occur, they're for the better, but in this case, it didn't happen that way. I ran my fingers through my hair and looked down at my hands afterwards.

I know many people think it would be selfish of me if I decided to kill myself, but after everything, I just didn't see a point in anything. But luckily, I was able to be stronger, but not strong enough.

My wrists were slit, and my hands would tremble every time I looked at them. My life went into a complete downfall after him. I want to blame him for doing this to me, but I know that it was just my fault.

I did this because I chose to fall in love with my teacher. I decided to do this, and if I didn't choose that path with him, none of this would've happened.

After all the mind fighting in my head, I got out of the shower and slipped into one of Shawn's old hoodies that I kept. I know that it's probably a bad idea that I chose to wear this since I instantly had a mental breakdown.

I just wished I could go back and forget everything. If there was a button to erase everything, I would press it. I wanted this to make my life easier, but it's only gotten harder.

My tears streamed down my cheeks and my heavy heart just broke more and more. I laid in bed letting every emotion I had to take over. As much as I hated feeling like this, something was telling me that things weren't going to end yet.

Like something was just about to begin, and I didn't know what was about to start.

~~~

"Have a nice day," I said with a smile as I handed a woman, who I would see everyday, her drink.

"Thank you...you as well Alexis," she said with a smile and I nodded.

"Thank you Ms. Johnson," I said and turned away once she left.

"Slow day today huh Alexis?" My friend Justin said and I nodded.

"Really is, it's usually not like this," I said and he nodded.

"Well let's hope we'll get to leave early," he said and I laughed.

"Yeah maybe," I said and let my hair down to take my lunch break.

As I grabbed my stuff, I heard the door open again. I almost turned back to help whoever it was but Justin stopped me.

"Hey go on your lunch break, I'll get it Alexis," he said and I nodded.

"Hello, how may I help you today sir?" Justin asked and I stopped as I heard mans' voice.

"I'll just take a Grande Iced Americano please," he said and my heart started pounding.

"Coming right up, that'll be six dollars," Justin said and as much as I wanted to turn around, I couldn't.

"Thanks," Justin said and he turned around to start making the drink.

"Hey I thought you were going on your lunch break?" Justin asked me and I nodded.

"I am, I just thought I left something," I mumbled, and hoped whoever I thought the person was didn't recognize my voice.

"Alright here you go man...have a nice day," Justin said and I'm guessing he gave the man his drink.

"Thanks you too," I heard him say and my heart had never hurt that much before.

I didn't know what to do, but in all honesty, I knew what I was about to do. I grabbed all of my things and ran out the door.

The streets were empty so I was able to see him a lot clearly than I thought I would be able to. I saw his still perfectly done, brown hair. His muscular figure was still the same.

I ran towards him as he walked to the park. He sat on a nearby bench and I knew what was about to hit me. I stayed behind him and didn't know what to say. I just looked at him and no words would come out.

When I finally got it together, I spoke.

"Shawn?"

He turned around and looked at me with the same look he would always give me. His eyes began to water as he finally processed that it was actually me.

"Alexis."

The End.

•••

Vote

Comment

Follow!