Lost My Way

Love + Friendship = Something Stronger

I suck at just pouring my feelings out in sound.

THAT'S WHY I TYPE, HAHA!

Anyway, let's just say that what I'm going to do will never equate to the things you've done for me.

Hush, don't start writing that DM or comment just yet--read what I'm going to type, dear friend .

~

You may be a lazier Suga, but when it comes to friends, you're anything but lazy.

That time when I first slept on the bus, just a few weeks ago? I was wake, if you couldn't tell. You asked if I was okay, took a picture of me (aish...), and proceeded to hug me.

I really needed that hug. People don't just willingly hug me, they ask me if I can hug them to provide comfort. So thank you for being the one to hug me.

Just today (well, yesterday due to the fact that I'm finishing this up the next day), I was NOT feeling it today. The flu hit me just after second period, and even if I wanted to go to the nurse, I pushed the option away because I thought I could handle it. Which I did--until I got on the bus.

I tried to distract my mind by playing on my phone, but my game stupidly wouldn't load so I set my phone down and tried to still myself. Usually, when I ran, I took deep breaths so I feel like I had more stamina and keep going.

So that's what I did--or tried to, anyway. When you came around again and asked me if I was okay, I said I was okay because I still wanted to stay strong, to myself and you. When you hugged me again, it was like Heaven had reached down and made me well again.

In other words, I felt safe, happy, and content.

I mentioned that I wanted to stay home. You replied that you wanted to stay home too.

I was going to add that we could stay home together and sit around and do nothing, but that's kinda weird, no?

Don't think I don't notice when you speak--I really do listen to what other people, especially you, say. I think I don't look like and seem like I'm listening though, so that's something I'll have to work on. I really do notice when you open your mouth, I just... It's my fault for not acknowledging that you do. Well cheese balls, I can't be a part of NJHS now, can I?

Cheese balls.

We have indeed seen each other grow and change, in the ways I classify as good or bad. Our attitudes, our likes, our differences and the way we live are far from what we in Kindergarten would have ever thought of.

The bonds we've woven go far back, and I don't ever want to cut them or stop weaving them--ever.

What's most important to me is that I want to be someone that you can turn to if something needs to be said. I'm not entirely sure if I am one to you--I'm too afraid to ask up front.

Damn, I really can't be in NJHS.

I'm going to end this here.

Since I'm very predictable, thank you for caring for me. Thank you for noticing that I need help instead of just asking, "Do you need help?" Thank you for giving me free food, even if you tell others "I owe her something."

No you don't, lying is a sin (tsk tsk).

Also, can you please tell me what we did in:

1. Teen Leadership
2. ELA
3. Science (what's on the test; etc.)
4. Math

Tank kyuu~